Au Naturale

Place: Carl's Jr/Green Burrito
Lunch: The All-Natural Burger (no lettuce, no tomato), side of beans, Coke

PREVIOUSLY ON THE LUNCHTIME SOCIAL...Greg and Brenda split up after Greg slept with Brenda's mother.  Also, I checked out Hardee's decidedly un-natural Bacon Velveeta Patty Meltdown.

So why not try the polar-opposite LTO happening at Hardee's sister chain.

This is "fast food's first All-Natural Burger", according to the Carl's Jr website.  But if you read the fine print after the asterisk, things get fuzzy.  "All-Natural attributes refer to beef patty."  "First All-Natural patty among major fast food chains."  So Burgerville fans can calm down now.

The main description of the burger reads "A grass-fed, free-range charbroiled beef patty with no added hormones, steroids, or antibiotics."  If I'm the only one who imagined hamburger patties happily rolling through a grassy meadow, my drugs are better than yours.

"But wouldn't they be easy targets for coyotes and wolves and outdoor house cats?"

Please.  Haven't you seen the covers of those religious pamphlets where children and leopards and fire-breathing dragons are all peacefully co-existing?  You need to watch less violent nature shows.

The description goes on to note the burger is "topped with natural cheddar cheese and vine-ripened tomatoes."  I'm actually more excited about the cheddar than the beef.  I'm all for natural cheddar.. I may never understand why people like processed American cheese.  The burger is otherwise dressed with what appears to be Carl's "Six Dollar Burger" veggies and Fresh Baked Bun.

So how is it?  Believe it or not, the beef patty tastes different than the standard Carl's Jr patty.  It tastes...aged, I think.  I guess it would be silly to have a patty being marketed as some sort of premium taste exactly the same as the non-natural patty.  Remember when McDonald's launched their Angus patty premium burgers?  Their social media comments were almost universal in complaining that there was no discernible difference in taste between the Angus beef and their regular beef.

The cheddar is nice, though seems to be mild.  I could go for a sharper cheddar.

But I'll give Carl's a "well played" anyway.  It's a perfectly nice, premium tasting burger.

Hanging out in Tulsa this morning for the first time ever.  Going to check out Taken 3 at a new Warren multiplex.

Never seen "Taken" or "Taken 2".

I'm guessing that won't be an issue.

The Meltdown

Place: Hardee's
Lunch: Bacon Velveeta Patty Meltdown, chili cheese fries, Coke

So there I was listening to a game on the radio this weekend when suddenly Gary Busey started swearing up a storm.  Lots of bleeping.  What happened?  A very clever Hardee's commercial for a sandwich called the Meltdown, that's what.  (The TV ad features professional wrestler Brock Lesnar having a meltdown involving throwing things.)

Meanwhile, what is sister chain Carl's Jr doing?  'The All Natural Burger".  With real cheddar.  Pretty much the polar opposite of a Velveeta-based burger.

Anyway, this thing is just freaking great, and I'm not even a Velveeta fan.  But it works here with the toasted Frisco bread, charbroiled beef, bacon, grilled onions, and mayo.  The burger LTO of the year may have already arrived.

Seeing the chili cheese fries banner was a surprise.  There's no banner for a chili cheeseburger, though.  Why not?  The chili's already here, for crying out loud.  For that matter, why not have a chili version of the Meltdown?  Chili and melty Velveeta?  Come ON, Hardee's!

I about had a meltdown of my own this morning.  This was clearly one of those "should've stayed in bed" Mondays.

The plan upon leaving the house was to get gas, something to eat, and hit the office.  The first snag comes when I can't find my hat and it's four degrees out and windy.  Meaning my head will be in a great deal of pain by the time I fuel up because I couldn't have possibly gotten gas on Saturday when the "low fuel" light went on as I was passing the gas station and it was 50 out.

Then I get a work emergency call and I'm suddenly in a big hurry to get to the office.

Then I can't get breakfast because there's no place to park.  The parking lot is PACKED.

But I get gas, get to work, and take care of the emergency.  Then I go to get some water so I can take some aspirin.

The water cooler is empty.

EMPTY.

The jug is empty.  The base is empty.  There's plenty of available jugs right next to it, but everyone was so lazy over the weekend that nobody could be bothered.

I replaced the jug and took the aspirin with our not-very-good-tasting tap water.

Anyway, now that I've eaten, I feel a little better.

This will change on the commute home, which is expected to be very snowy.