tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179393282024-02-19T11:19:04.351-06:00 tesg's lunchtime socialUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger389125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-81639391211047841902019-11-14T14:30:00.000-06:002019-11-14T19:19:04.722-06:00Sandwich Sensation<b>Place: </b>Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Mild chicken sandwich, spicy chicken sandwich, Hawaiian Punch<br />
<br />
Popeyes originally launched their chicken sandwich in August. It was such a sensation that locations were overwhelmed with business at levels they’d never seen before. Lines around the building and down the street. By the time I got around to trying it, the chain was sold out of supplies, and it turns out the local Popeyes stores never bothered to offer the thing in the first place.<br />
<br />
<i>Sunday November 3...</i>Just in time for National Sandwich Day, Popeyes has refreshed, hired more staff, and reloaded, with the intention of making their sandwich a permanent menu item. The frenzy to get it continues, with reports all over the country of long lines awaiting sandwiches and fights and what not.<br />
<br />
<i>Tuesday November 5...</i>I stopped by the local Popeyes mid-afternoon to find cars filling the parking lot, people walking up to the doors, and turning around and leaving. Huh? Turns out there’s a notice on the door that the local stores STILL haven’t gotten the sandwich and have no idea when they can be bothered. So people leave empty handed and head to the Chick-Fil-A next door. This must be doing wonders for their business. Two different people stop me in their cars.<br />
<br />
“Are they out?”<br />
<br />
“They never launched it here in the first place.”<br />
<br />
“WHAT???”<br />
<br />
Yeah. Basically the same conversation both times.<br />
<br />
<i>Friday Noveember 8, Champaign, IL...</i>It’s a travel weekend for me, so I decided to try a Popeyes from the road. There’s one down the street from my hotel. Google reviews indicate they have the sandwich. It’s 4:30pm.<br />
<br />
“Not until 7,”Frowning Counter Girl says.<br />
<br />
“What?”<br />
<br />
“You have to come back after 7.”<br />
<br />
You have got to be kidding me.<br />
<br />
I don’t go back. I go to my hotel and order a Monical’s Pizza. Screw this.<br />
<br />
This has got to be one incredible sandwich to be this much bother. Chick-Fil-A makes a good chicken sandwich, but it alone doesn’t drive traffic. When Popeyes sandwich went viral, I read a real food critic’s review of it and several other chain chicken sandwiches. Chick-Fil-A only came in like fourth. Popeyes was tops. The big surprise? McDonald’s crispy buttermilk chicken sandwich came in really high.<br />
<br />
A key part of Chick-Fil-A’s success, especially with women, is customer service. Everyone is terribly nice, clean, neat, and well mannered. People love that about them and make a point of bringing it up when recommending them.<br />
<br />
Popeyes is the polar opposite. The staff yells at each other, swears as if they think the counter is a magical barrier that customers can’t hear through, and hardly ever smile. Some of those people can be outright abusive. I remember a girl working the drive-thru shouting at her customer “We aint got no daaaamn ice cream!” once.<br />
<br />
But they do make my favorite chicken (it would be second favorite if Kenny Rogers Roasters were still around). Give me a couple spicy thighs or some blackened chicken tenders (they’re unbreaded, heavily seasoned, and fantastic) and that’s as good as it gets. Good butterfly shrimp too.<br />
<br />
What actually drives me into Chick-Fil-A is their incredible chicken noodle soup, which is a seasonal item. It shows up with the cold weather. Thus, so do I.<br />
<br />
<i>Thursday November 14, Wichita...</i>Not getting a good vibe when I pull up. There’s no mayhem in the drive-thru. I go inside.<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: “Spicy or mild?”<br />
<br />
Me: “Uh, one of each? And a drink?”<br />
<br />
She cheerfully rings me up. HOLY CRAP!<br />
<br />
I tap my Apple Watch on the payment reader. “THAT IS SO COOL!“ she exclaims. “You don’t have to take your card out or anything!”<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikWUtSuOGtyQ2U01q_ANbfMpJtQMKBtNcDNKW0H_19Sl3xUPOtaG5C_PMCWKA3j8lyMmaocnxBZqDIFHl6EAa2bE28Vp7d4NscV9tqB3pJqZEDzBPVzMuV0iiaD6U1N1xfnxIrzg/s1600/329D6EFD-CDA9-415C-9A95-B3A9CEF227E5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikWUtSuOGtyQ2U01q_ANbfMpJtQMKBtNcDNKW0H_19Sl3xUPOtaG5C_PMCWKA3j8lyMmaocnxBZqDIFHl6EAa2bE28Vp7d4NscV9tqB3pJqZEDzBPVzMuV0iiaD6U1N1xfnxIrzg/s320/329D6EFD-CDA9-415C-9A95-B3A9CEF227E5.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Five minutes later, I have the two famous Popeyes chicken sandwiches in front of me in all their glory.<br />
<br />
<i>The Verdict</i><br />
<br />
It’s a better breast filet than anyone else. Nice and plump with a solid crispy breading that has a bit of flavor all its on. Seems to be the same either mild or spicy...they get the “spicy” through the sauce they use on the sandwich. And that sauce is waaay too spicy for me. But the mild has a really good mayo. Both have excellent pickle slices that compliment the overall flavor perfectly.<br />
<br />
Damn good sandwich.<br />
<br />
Still, i’d prefer my spicy thighs and blackened chicken tenders to the sandwich, and I can’t get that chicken noodle soup here, so I’m probably not going to change my Popeyes or Chick-Fil-A habits.<br />
<br />
But hey...that’s just me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-84638926816700969032019-10-31T14:00:00.000-05:002019-11-01T22:22:11.787-05:00Stream Scream<b>Place: </b>Taco John's<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Sauce-a-Lotta Enchilada platter (beef <strike>enchiladas</strike> smothered burritos, cilantro lime rice, black beans, a lettuce and tomato mix), Potato Ole's, Pepsi<br />
<br />
Taco John's has been running an ad on social media for what they call "Sauce-a-Lotta Enchiladas". But when you click on it, the link goes to their website, which has absolutely nothing about them posted. Way to market, Taco John's. Apparently this is a limited market test offering of some sort because if you go to their social media feed, those ads don't show up there either. Also, the ads are now counting down the end of availablilty, which must have been all of two weeks at most. So...yeah.<br />
<br />
The store up the street from the Townhouse of Solitude has them, so I tried them for lunch today. New Counter Girl Melody is learning the register and slowly inputting my order while being coached. There's less drama than you would imagine. I am given the option of enchiladas ala carte, or in a platter.<br />
<br />
"What's in a platter?" I ask.<br />
<br />
"Rice and beans."<br />
<br />
"Platter."<br />
<br />
Apple Pay ensues after some drama about how to take credit cards. I get my drink cup and head off.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJxq66nVXmqiy5LOmPThcTOCmtY8VaeKNwDakSYAsr_dPBusQBViNNIpsatR2_T8swBK7RUVdkmyACKvorZ4HfMsDkhcwj_2jb4kdo_49KZon5LtKV1R4wA2hrjnh1Nh-LNp1iVw/s1600/EA6F1536-4F0F-414B-9A9E-078621D8E240.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJxq66nVXmqiy5LOmPThcTOCmtY8VaeKNwDakSYAsr_dPBusQBViNNIpsatR2_T8swBK7RUVdkmyACKvorZ4HfMsDkhcwj_2jb4kdo_49KZon5LtKV1R4wA2hrjnh1Nh-LNp1iVw/s320/EA6F1536-4F0F-414B-9A9E-078621D8E240.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Looks like an old school TV dinner tray.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The first surprise about the platter is that I expected it to come with refried beans and Spanish rice. Not so much. It's cilantro lime rice and black beans. Plus there's a mini saled lettuce tomato mix thingy going on.<br />
<br />
The enchiladas themselves are, of course, not really enchiladas. Enchiladas should be softened corn tortillas wrapped around some sort of meat or cheese and topped in sauce and cheese. These are using flour tortillas, so they're disqualified. Essentially, they're smothered burritos. These are what Taco Bueno and Taco Casa refer to as "Chiladas". Even Taco Bell called theirs "Enchrito" when they offered such a thing, even back in the day when they actually made it with a corn tortilla. There isn't a lot of red sauce on top, but therre's enough. There's also nacho cheese.<br />
<br />
They're okay. I doubt I'd order them again.<br />
<br />
Melody's trainer is taking her through the dining room and introduces us. "This is Melody. It's her first day," she says to me. "This is Sam. He's one of our regulars," to her.<br />
<br />
Thanks, Girl I've Known Forever and yet don't know <i>your</i> name.<br />
<br />
So-called cable TV cord cutters are losing an altername streaming option next year. Sony is pulling the plug on PlaystationVue, their version of a cable TV service.<br />
<br />
I've been a seasonal subscriber to PSVue for the past few years. I fire it up for football season and drop it in January. I like the convenience factor of it...when I want it, I just fire up my PS4 and turn the subscription on and it's ready to go instantly. When I'm done, I turn off the subscription. You can't do that with cable. They require install appointments, sending you equipment, returning equipment...it's a big hassle. Streaming quality has dramatically improved each year. I have a high-speed pure fiber provider this year and it's been great. But I guess I'll have to find a new source next year.<br />
<br />
Outside of football season, I can pretty well live without it. I get lots of over-the-air channels between the regular networks and their digital sub-channels. And my favorite channel (BUZZR, the retro game show network) is available through two completely free streaming services, PlutoTV and STIRR. If you don't have their apps on your stream box, download them. You don't even have to sign up for anything. Just open and start watching their channel lineups. They don't have major name-brand channels, but they have all sorts of interesting channels with movies, classic TV, and special interest channels (want a channel that does nothing but show internet pet videos all day? Pluto's got you covered.)<br />
<br />
Sorry to see you go, PSVue. But I won't be hurting for TV.<br />
<br />
Even when I'm not paying for TV.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-79371427248705869562019-10-18T15:00:00.000-05:002019-10-23T00:27:32.068-05:00Apple of My Eye<b>Place: </b>Taco Bueno<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Big Freaking Taco (no tomato), Mucho Nachos (no tomato), ice water<br />
<br />
Since emerging from bankruptcy under new ownership, the rallying cry to Taco Bueno from Buenoheads has been universal on social media...<br />
<br />
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRING BACK THE OLD RECIPES!!!”<br />
<br />
Fans would argue Bueno’s problems started when they changed their queso. It apparently led to a sharp (some say 30 percent) drop in sales. That along with a narrow and precarious financial position (lots of debt) is said to have broken the chain. Things only got worse as they changed other recipes and even I got to the point where I couldn’t eat that crap.<br />
<br />
So fans reacted with precautionary joy recently when Taco Bueno announced they were back to the old recipes, including the queso. And I’m here to tell you that this was the best meal I’ve had at Bueno in a couple of years. And that made me very happy.<br />
<br />
It's October, my favorite month of the year. The fall colors arrive, the air is crisp, and so are the apples. It's apple season, and I tend to embrace it.<br />
<br />
But does that mean actual apples? Or apple flavored stuff? Well, both really. I tend to have a supply of Fuji apples on hand. Good flavor, not too crisp, not too soft. Reasonably priced. I used to occasionally get Honey Crisp, but they're a little <i>too </i>crisp for me and quite expensive.<br />
<br />
I have fond memories, as do most Portlanders, of the caramel apples at Morrow's Nut House in Lloyd Center. Made right there in front of you. Very popular treat. People still talk fondly about those on the Portland groups. Morrow's had other locations too, but everybody ties their memories to Lloyd Center.<br />
<br />
The newer bigger Aldi stores have a snack pack with apple slices and caramel to dip them in. Doesn't get much easier than that. Or cheaper.<br />
<br />
There's always apple cider and apple juice. Everfresh even put out a line of different apple juice flavors based on specific apples. Fuji, Honey Crisp, Golden Delicious, Granny Smith, McIntosh, and Pink Lady are all available options. Tree Top has a Honey Crisp in their Pure Pressed line. I've had the Everfresh Honey Crisp and loved it.<br />
<br />
My all-time favorite milkshake is Steak n Shake's Caramel Apple Milkshake. The milkshake itself is apple flavored with hot caramel infused in it. It's just amazing.<br />
<br />
Have you ever tried Popeyes Cinnamon Apple Pie? It's actually fried like McDonald's used to do, and it's rolled in cinnamon and sugar. Heaven. They gave me one as an apology for a delayed order (my local Popeyes tends to throw free food at any problem...sometimes a completely ridiculous amount of it) and I've been addicted ever since.<br />
<br />
There's even the occasional candy. Cow Tales has a caramel apple flavored version that really does taste very caramel appley.<br />
<br />
Enjoy October.<br />
<br />
And the apples.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-91319682959204027802019-09-20T12:30:00.000-05:002019-09-20T23:33:14.378-05:00Taco Hell<b>Place: </b>Taco Bell<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Beef Toasted Cheddar Chalupa (extra meat, light lettuce, no tomato), Nachos Supreme (no tomato, add red sauce), Crunchy Taco (extra meat...ha ha ha ha ha), Pepsi<br />
<br />
Oh hey look. Taco Bell has a new mutant menu item. They've taken the chalupa and baked some sort of cheese substance into the shell. Might as well try it, I guess.<br />
<br />
I pull into the Taco Bell parking lot and whip out my phone to place the order on the app. Taco Bell used to have a great app. Then they switched vendors and made you download a new app and it sucks harder than a Dyson vaccuum cleaner. It's just awful, and every bad quirk about it is on display today.<br />
<br />
First off, it's forgotten who I am. I have to login again. This happens roughly 4 out of 5 times I try to use it. This never happened with the original app. It never happens with the McDonald's app. Just this piece of crap.<br />
<br />
I login and choose my nachos and taco from my stored favorites. Then I go to add Pintos & Cheese. You know, the little bowl of beans with cheese and red sauce? Guess what...it's NO LONGER AVAILABLE. WHAT??? There's NOTHING to this that is special to this item. There's literally NO REASON to not offer it. Unless they got too cheap to stock the little bowls, I suppose. Cheap bastards.<br />
<br />
I finish the order and the app thanks me and says "We'll see you soon" or something. Then it shows the address of the store it sent the order to. Guess what? It ISN'T THIS STORE. The app, which normally uses GPS to figure out where you are and assign you to the closest store (you know, like the one I'm sitting in the parking lot of) sent the order to a store 11 miles away.<br />
<br />
You have GOT to be kidding me.<br />
<br />
20 minutes later, I'm at the other store picking up my food, which is packed to go because Taco Bell can't even be bothered with offering a "dine in" option on the app.<br />
<br />
If people could get prison sentences for gross incompetence, I would hope the Taco Bell app team would be serving life sentences. There's no hope for them to contribute positively to the human race.<br />
<br />
Don't you love what Taco Bell considers to be "extra meat" in their crunchy taco? They charge $2.79 for this. <br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjte-w_fKdomv8zXr1ouzbASiwW_bgjSzSBavb7pw1DqsUdQQ0whzxt_xMsSFRZUbz5dCuTj0X7LyKjQM886tU19Jv6L6nEM0hvpC8_DKAc8TE9StnP4xenxcHty-waYh3bkGi_rg/s1600/IMG_1422.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjte-w_fKdomv8zXr1ouzbASiwW_bgjSzSBavb7pw1DqsUdQQ0whzxt_xMsSFRZUbz5dCuTj0X7LyKjQM886tU19Jv6L6nEM0hvpC8_DKAc8TE9StnP4xenxcHty-waYh3bkGi_rg/s320/IMG_1422.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
As for the Chalupa, it was underwhelming. Just a new gimmick to grab attention, I guess.<br />
<br />
Taco Bell should split itself into two divisions...Taco Bell, and Taco Mutant. One with a simple menu of classics...regular tacos, nachos and burritos made with regular corn shells, chips, and flour tortillas, meat, cheese, lettuce, beans, onions, and red sauce...and the Mutant with all their weird oddball crap.<br />
<br />
Or I could just move to Taco Casa territory, where they not only keep to the basics, they do them far better than Taco Bell does anyway.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-190753525575885522019-07-13T13:00:00.000-05:002019-07-14T17:51:55.633-05:00Bugs<b>Place: </b>McDonald's<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>2 McDouble's, fries, Coke<br />
<br />
It's National French Fry Day according to the social medias, so that made McDonald's lunch by default. Unless I was in Wichita, then I would have gone to Freddy's, who has the best fries ever. McDonald's has the second best fries ever. The original beef tallow fries were probably REALLY the best fries ever, but who can remember for sure.<br />
<br />
Volkswagen rolled the last Beetle off the assembly line in Puebla, Mexico last week. This was a "Final Edition" of the newer water-cooled version based on the Golf platform. The original air-cooled Beetle ended production in 2003 at that very same plant, 65 years after initial production and over 21,000,000 vehicles produced. By that time the "New Beetle" was a few years into production and a phenomenon in its own right, though never even remotely at the level of the original. The version ending production last week was the second generation of the water cooled version and never really caught on with consumers.<br />
<br />
Still, the press found a suitable excuse to cover the event and be all melancholy, as am I, as I have a long history with the model.<br />
<br />
My father was a VW service manager, and as such, we owned a few. An old ivory 60's model that we watched "Herbie Rides Again" in at the Canyon Drive-In. A '74 "Sun Bug" edition Super Beetle (gold with a sunroof), the only new car we ever owned. He picked up and restored a second Sun Bug years later.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzFfdln9B9qucjnpAOX22H5so4hWUSGNEx6m96bh0mkSk-faqx4YcN7TMELbzHnk8PlSheKwPmp1-q2jniu3hlpifku0BrHb-9gPEcXyzx8GYMEgTPmy7OwLN8qoY1Bh8XvogO0A/s1600/1974-12+Sun+Bug+crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="526" data-original-width="905" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzFfdln9B9qucjnpAOX22H5so4hWUSGNEx6m96bh0mkSk-faqx4YcN7TMELbzHnk8PlSheKwPmp1-q2jniu3hlpifku0BrHb-9gPEcXyzx8GYMEgTPmy7OwLN8qoY1Bh8XvogO0A/s320/1974-12+Sun+Bug+crop.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dad and his '74 Sun Bug</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
My first two cars were '74 Super Beetles, a black one with red seats and a red one with white seats. The black one was picked up for $150 and was tecbnically my third car. My second intended car was a Subaru that he ended up selling to a family friend who really wanted it. My first intended car was a late 60's Beetle he'd rebuilt from the ground up and was one of the most bizarre mutant car jobs you've ever seen.<br />
<br />
When I first saw it, it was a powder blue Bug somebody had hand painted cute little designs all over in black. Little "bugs" (flies) and such. It was in the salvage lot behind the dealership. He stripped it to the body and asked what color I wanted it to be. I was reading a book at the time focused around a guy and his sapphire blue Triumph motorcycle, so I suggested "sapphire blue". "I think I have a can of something like that," he said. He pulled it into the paint shop and blasted it a haphazard metallic blue. It looked like a matte finish.<br />
<br />
From there, whatever happend to be on hand and available went into the car. Blue Dasher seats (bolted in place, not adjustable at all). Wheels and a bumper from a Scirocco, with the fenders flared out to accomodate the wider tires. The bumper turn indicators even worked...he filled in the holes where the Beetle's old fender turn indicators would have been. A gas tank from a VW Bus, installed where the back seat would normally be, with a filler drilled into the back side of the car. He bolted in aluminum panels where a proper dashboard would be and used whatever dials and buttons were available in his spare parts collection for controls and instruments. Think race car. That's kind of what it looked like.<br />
<br />
The thing was so light, you could lift up the front end and push the car around. Ir was loud, and it didn't always make sense in the way he put it together. The wiper motor was of the wrong voltage and the wipers operated at an insanely high speed. One day, the entire wiper arm went flying off in traffic while he was driving it.<br />
<br />
I'm still unclear on how this didn't end up becoming my first car. It ended up being his daily driver. My uncle years later told me Dad had told him I put my foot down one day and said I wasn't going to be seen in that thing, that it "just wasn't me". I have no recollection of this whatsoever.<br />
<br />
The black '74 wasn't exactly perfect. The gas tank had a leak of some sort that made the entire car smell of gas fumes. Nobody ever wanted to ride in it because of that. Or because the floorboards had rusted through and splashing through a puddle soaked the inside of the car. Dad eventually bolted some sheet metal where the floorboards used to be and I drove it until I bought the red Beetle from a former teacher of mine. That one didn't have a working reverse gear, so I always had to be strategic in where I parked it to make sure I could drive out or at least coast out if backwards were absolutely necessary..<br />
<br />
That was the end of my Beetles until I picked up my 2000 New Beetle GLX. Dark blue with a black leather interior and the 1.8 turbo motor. Those things had their faults, but it still ranks as one of my favorite cars ever. It would also prove to be my last VW. Dad, on one of his rare trips to civilization, got to see it once.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHcCNggqoXWrp4tE-txsQ6lioBGkISvRFxnzqft1rPYUQcO-UNcdm-VOadNHJCwReBHGS5MsB7jj726b91rYVG6avYx7PsEG2UzIp6LY4x064qeOq9eo56_Tq25eZNZRCaaGYwvQ/s1600/20051124+Graham+Family+Reunion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHcCNggqoXWrp4tE-txsQ6lioBGkISvRFxnzqft1rPYUQcO-UNcdm-VOadNHJCwReBHGS5MsB7jj726b91rYVG6avYx7PsEG2UzIp6LY4x064qeOq9eo56_Tq25eZNZRCaaGYwvQ/s320/20051124+Graham+Family+Reunion.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In memory of Richaard Graham 1936-2019</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
"Well I know they're really just a Golf with a Beetle-shaped body, but they're still pretty neat," he said. "You've come full-circle."<br />
<br />
Yes. Yes I had.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-79929969177336132882019-07-10T11:00:00.000-05:002019-07-10T13:23:51.225-05:00Old Favorites<b>Place: </b>Burger King<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Whopper (no lettuce, no tomato), 2 BK Tacos, Coke<br />
<br />
You know how fans of different fast food chains will start social media threads asking the question "What discontinued menu item do you want brought back?" And then everybody posts damn near everything every fast food chain ever offered, ahd maybe some items they somehow remember but never existed. You'll even see some idiot bemoan the loss of the McDonald's Arch Deluxe burger line. Seriously, people. You're delusional.<br />
<br />
I had a bahit of coming up with items nobody else thought of. In the case of McDonald's, it was the Steak, Egg & Cheese bagel. I loved that thing. But the bagel line, let alone the steak version, were probably fringe items in most of the country (you could actually still get them in limited markets), so I never expected to see it again.<br />
<br />
Then a couple of weeks ago, I was watching the Wednesday night game show lineup on ABC and a McDonqld's commercial breezed by advertising breakfast bagels.<br />
<br />
WHAT?<br />
<br />
I couldn't have seen that right.<br />
<br />
But I went down to the local McDonald's in the morning anyway. And there it was. My beloved Steak, Egg & Cheese bagel was BACK in my market, and systemwide. And it was SO GOOD. From the first bite to the nirvana of the center (where you hit the bagel hole which is filled with cheese and pops a flavor all its own), I savored it all. And then I went back the next morning. And the next. And the next. I've had close to a dozen of them so far.<br />
<br />
In the case of Burger King, my most wanted item was BK Tacos. You may not be familiar with these. They've been available regionally since the 1980's. In fact, the Portland BK's had a whole sidebar Mexican menu back then. All I remember was the tacos. They were direct copycats of Jack in the Box tacos at the same 2 for 99 cents price point. I'd get a pair to side with my Whopper.<br />
<br />
The Mexican menu went away, but the tacos stuck around in scattered markets. They went national once, maybe ten years ago, for about five minutes before disappearing. Back to a regional favorite, I guess, though I haven't seen a BK selling them in years.<br />
<br />
But the other day, people on social media started talking about BK Tacos. And BK started advertising them. And I'm like, "Are you kidding me?" So I headed to my local BK this morning. And sure enough, there they were.<br />
<br />
They're no longer 2 for 99 cents...they're $1 each now. But they're here, they're real, and I'm eating as many as I can while they're here.<br />
<br />
The BK Taco, like Jack in the Box, comes frozen with the meat already in the shell. They're deep fried at the restaurant, then pinched open to add a little cheese, lettuce, and taco sauce. They're the ugliest tacos you've ever seen, and they're delicious. A girl in a WSJ article describing her first experience with Jack in the Box tacos called them "vile and amazing." That's the perfect description for both brands..<br />
<br />
So in just a couple of weeks, two chains brought back items I never expected to see again. So it seems like a good time to do some fantasy fast food booking.<br />
<br />
What else would I like to see come back?<br />
<br />
<i>Wisconsin White Cheddar Whooper (Burger King) - </i>While McDonald's was bragging abotu their awful flavorless CBO burger, Burger King rolled out a Whopper that simply had a slice of natural white cheddar on it, and I claimed it may have been the best Whopper ever. I mean, all you have to do to bring it back is keep around some white cheddar cheese slices in the kitchen...<br />
<br />
<i>Western Whopper (Burger King) - </i>The original Western Whopper was a bacon Whopper with a slice of cheddar instead of American cheese and barbecue sauce instead of ketchup. Pretty simple, right? So simple, in fact, that I have been known to order a bacon Whopper with no cheese and ketchup and taking it home and making my own original Western Whopper with my own barbecue sauce and a slice of Tillamook cheddar. Not that hard. BK later marketed a Western Whopper that had American cheese, making it nothing more than a Bacon Cheese Whopper with barbecue sauce. No, not ordering that.<br />
<br />
<i>Enchrito (Taco Bell) - </i>We're talking the original back from the 80's with a corn shell and three slices of olives on top. The good news is Taco Casa's Chilada makes an even better substitute. It has a flour shell, but it's bigger, has better sauce, and unlike Taco Bell's more recent (and also discontinued version), is topped in olives.<br />
<br />
<i>Chilito/Chili Cheese Burrito (Taco Bell) - </i>It was a burrito with Taco Bell's mystery chili substance and cheese in it. Never exactly generous on the portion, but delicious and really a one-of-a-kind item. Supposedly still available in some markets, or at least was for awhile.<br />
<br />
<i>Ultimate Taco (Del Taco) - </i>This was one of the most perfect tacos ever. It was in a larger shell and included sour cream and a salsa unique to that taco. Just a perfect balance of flavors. Del Taco doesn't even offer a supreme taco with sour cream included anymore, though you can add sour cream for an upcharge. A really ridiculous upcharge if I remember right. Closest alternatives out there are Taco Bueno's Big Freaking Taco and Taco Casa's Super Taco, but in both cases you're adding sauce yourself.<br />
<br />
<i>Bacon & Egg Quesadilla (Del Taco) - </i>I have no idea why Del Taco would pull their breakfast quesadilla from the menu, but they did. It was bacon, egg, cheese, and green sauce. It's not like they go rid of the green sauce, they still use it on the chicken quesadilla.<br />
<br />
<i>Grilled Cheese Thickburger (Hardee's) - </i>Hardee's has rolled this out as an LTO once in awhile. It's the Frisco melt with extra cheese and no tomato. Simple. So why isn't it just on the menu all the time. That sandwich drives me to Hardee's.<br />
<br />
<i>Bar-B-Que Cheddar (Whataburger) - </i>Greatest Whataburger ever. A double patty Whataburger with cheddar in between the patties topped with pickles, onions, and barbecue sauce. Incredible. Everything on it worked so perfectly together. I'm not sure I've ever had a BBQ cheddar burger that compared. I do not understand how this isn't a permanent menu item, especially with Carl's Jr selling a ton of Western Bacon Cheeseburgers in an increasing number of Whataburger markets.<br />
<br />
I could probably sit here all day thinking of more.<br />
<br />
But I have tacos to eat.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-44266486497138084892019-06-13T11:41:00.000-05:002019-06-13T11:49:45.548-05:00Wawa<b>Place</b>: Wawa<br />
<b>Lunch</b>: Cheesesteak hoagie (mayo, caramelized onions, pickles), mac and cheese,, meatball, hot dog, water<br />
<br />
Wawa has a legendary reputation with a fiercely loyal fan base who consider them the greatest convenience store chain in the world. I’ve been to one once, and I was inside just long enough to get a receipt for my gas that the pump didn’t provide. Now, I’m sampling the menu for lunch to see what makes their fans so feverish.<br />
<br />
Convenience store chains have been upping their fresh food game in the wake of declining tobacco sales and the decreasing profitability of gas on the retail end. Full kitchens producing made to order foods are becoming more common. Wawa and fellow Pennsylvania competitor Sheetz were pioneers here and debates on which chain is better are as common in their core markets as Coke vs Pepsi or even Soda vs Pop are everywhere. I’ve been to Sheetz a lot. This is my first time eating something at Wawa, and trips to Wawa markets being extremely rare for me, I took advantage to sample a few things.<br />
<br />
Ordering is done from a touch screen, much like Sheetz. Offerings focus on hoagies and sides...the selection is much more limited from the ridiculous number of offerings at Sheetz. The hoagies are all anyone ever talks about anyway. So I order my cheesesteak, a small side of mac and cheese, and small meatballs (you get two in a cup).<br />
<br />
I also wander the store. There’s an area with Wawa-branded snacks and the usual convenience store fare. The soda fountain is a Coke Freestyle, no Peosi. There’s a mini staffed coffee station that makes custom coffee drinks. And there’s a heated glass display case full of hot dogs in plastic containers pre-bunned. No roller grill. No way to add chili or cheese. Condiments are limited to tiny packets. You’d probably need like ten mustard packets for the bigger hot dogs. I grab a hot dog anyway.<br />
<br />
I pay for everything, my order number is called, and I head to the car to eat in the parking lot. The first thing I discover is they don’t automatically place any cutlery in the bag when you order things that require it. Nice. I have a spare plastic spoon from some other fast food visit on hand anyway. <br />
<br />
So how was it?<br />
<br />
The cheesesteak was lousy. The meat and onions were pretty flavorless. The mayo overwhelmed the thing and tasted odd. It was also supposed to have cheese on it, but I could find no evidence of it existing. Thumbs down.<br />
<br />
The meatballs were lousy. Just bland. I ate one of them. Thumbs down.<br />
<br />
The mac and cheese was the highlight. Better than you’d expect from a convenience store. Thumbs up.<br />
<br />
The hot dog was a bold flavored all-meat plumper that required all the mustard packets I grabbed and maybe then some. Too strong without the mustard, fine with it. Thumbs...up.<br />
<br />
Bottom line...I walked into Wawa wondering why they had such a cult following. I walked out still wondering why they had a cult following, but for all the wrong reasons.<br />
<br />
In the debate of which is better, Sheetz wins by a landslide.<br />
<br />
But QuikTrip still beats them both.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-42468998661683553102019-05-22T11:26:00.000-05:002019-05-22T14:26:50.513-05:00Bob for the Block<b>Place</b>: In-N-Out Burger<br />
<b>Lunch</b>: Double Double (no lettuce, no tomato, add pickles and grilled onions), chocolate shake<br />
<br />
You know what I never noticed before? In-N-Out’s grilled onions are reconstituted dehydrated minced onions. <br />
<br />
They’re fine, it just seems odd for a chain that boasts of “fresh” so much. And it won’t matter to the In-N-Out faithful, who are as fiercely and blindly behind the brand as Apple fans are to theirs.<br />
<br />
This was made apparent in news stories covering the closure of the oldest operating Burgerville. The Portland chain’s Beaverton outlet was my childhood burger joint and it still retains that classic exterior look. I’ve stopped in for lunch on every trip home for years.<br />
<br />
It’s a big deal to a lot of people to see it go, including to the media, who covered it and posted said stories on Facebook. Which meant there were lots of comments. That included lots of snarky negative comments.<br />
<br />
<i>“Who cares. They’re overrated.”</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“Their quality has gone down hill and they’re overpriced.”</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“The whole chain will be out of business as soon as In-N-Out opens.”</i><br />
<br />
Wait...what? In-N-Out? Yes. In-N-Out is opening a restaurant soon in Salem.<br />
<br />
A single location, specifically, that is 40 miles from this Burgerville (and most other Burgervilles), is going to put all 40 Burgervilles out of business.<br />
<br />
This isn’t just a Burgerville issue, of course. The same thing happens with all the major chains. Everybody loves to dump on McDonald’s and Burger King like it’s a sport. But no matter how many new and even better competitors grow, they’re still the biggest burger chains.<br />
<br />
This happens with any business, news story, musical artist page, you name it. It was on the official KISS page that I got fed up with the idiots who “like” the page and follow the posts for their big tour just so they can leave comments like “its fake Paul’s lip-synching” and “they’re a cover band without Ace and Peter.”<br />
<br />
And that’s when I started blocking people.<br />
<br />
When you block a user on Facebook, they can no longer see your posts, you can no longer see theirs, and they can’t send you friend requests. And if they’re already friends, they’re automatically unfriended.<br />
<br />
The KISS feed suddenly became so much more readable.<br />
<br />
So I started to do the same with toxic users on other feeds. Then I started muting the radical firebombing political posters regardless of party affiliation who I am friends with (muting hides their posts from your feed, but they can still read yours) or selectively putting some on 30 day mutes. And I started hiding all content from meme sources my friends are constantly sharing on their feeds. (Hiding a source means you’ll no longer see shared posts from that source without completely muting your friend.)<br />
<br />
I also started blocking big pharma advertisers so I don’t have to look at their disgusting ads.<br />
<br />
You know what? Facebook has become a lot more tolerable. My feed is more readable. It’s not perfect, but it’s better.<br />
<br />
So the next time you see that same username posting yet another stupid negative unnecessary comment, click on their profile, find the option to block them, and send them into the abyss.<br />
<br />
You’ll feel much better in the morning.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-44633629371986954222019-05-01T11:30:00.000-05:002019-05-04T18:35:32.390-05:00Big Roast Beefy<b>Place: </b>Hardee's<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Big Roast Beef, 1/3 lb Original Thickburger (no lettuce, no tomato), orange Hi-C<br />
<br />
Years ago, Hardee's was sold to CKE Restaurants, the parent company of Carl's Jr. CKE's plan was to use the highly damaged chain to springboard the Carl's Jr brand from regional to national. To convert Hardee's to Carl's Jr, not unlike how Hardee's did the same to Sandy's and Burger Chef. They were going to keep the Hardee's breakfast line, because that was actually working, but adopt the Carl's Jr lunch/dinner menu. Seemed like a good idea at the time, because Hardee's had little going on past 10:30am. Credit the employees and customers of Peoria, one of the initial two test markets, for sabotaging this.<br />
<br />
Plan B was what was known as "Star Hardee's", which was basically the same plan but with the Hardee's brand name and curly fries and the Hot Ham & Cheese returning to the menu. The Carl's Jr burgers stuck around.<br />
<br />
Not returning to the menu was the Big Roast Beef. The popular option featured pressed roast beef much like Arby's, but piled higher on a buttery sesame seed bun. It's one of the few menu items anyone can remember of pre-CKE Hardee's, and easily the most missed.<br />
<br />
Fast forward two decades and change later, and Hardee's has rolled out the Big Roast Beef once again systemwide, and it's return has been...polarizing. The comments in social media ads have been anywhere from joy to the idea that it's back to anger that it's allegedly not the same as it was to debates about what it used to be in the first place. A lot of people claimed it was taken from the Roy Rogers menu after Hardee's parent company acquired that chain (it wasn't...Hardee's offered it years before the acquisition and the sandwich bore no resemblance at all to Roy's roast beef). One guy insisted the original came dressed with mayo, lettuce, and tomato, and no amount of replies telling him that was never true (and it wasn't) will change his mind. Others complained that the original was shaved from a roast on site (debatable) and was piled way higher (true) and tasted different (also true).<br />
<br />
Something else that's true? It never really completely disappeared. Some rural market stores have been selling it all along or at least in recent years. But even that version wasn't comparable to the 80's Hardee's. It was still delicious. The bun...more recently the Fresh Baked Bun used on the Thickburgers...was saturated in a buttery sauce that made the whole thing magical. If I was near a Hardee's that had it, I was getting it. So I assumed this wuld be what they were rolling out systemwide when I saw the ads.<br />
<br />
So is it? Or is it a true throwback to the original?<br />
<br />
It's neither.<br />
<br />
The "new" roast beef is soaked in an au jus prior to serving that you can taste in the beef. And the buttery sauce doesn't exist. And the combination makes for a vastly different and altogether inferior sandwich.<br />
<br />
Highly disappointing.<br />
<br />
So I need to go back to one of those rural Hardee's to see if they're now making the sandwich this new way.<br />
<br />
If they are, everything is ruined here.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-60244825660130724932019-04-11T11:30:00.000-05:002019-04-11T16:21:05.879-05:00Truffley<b>Place</b>: Carl’s Jr<br />
<b>Lunch</b>: Bacon Truffle Angus burger, onion rings, Coke<br />
<br />
Me: “Bacon truffle Angus burger combo with onion rings...”<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: “One third pound, one half pound, two thirds pound, single, or double?”<br />
<br />
Me: “Uh...one third pound.”<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: “Large or medium combo?”<br />
<br />
Me: Medium.”<br />
<br />
The register monitor indicates I’ve ordered TWO such burgers and an order of fries. No drink. Smiling Counter Girl anticipates my confusion. “I’ll fix it. MANAGER!”<br />
<br />
Some Guy shows up. “He only wants one,” she says. He swipes his override card. The extra sandwich disappears. Now there’s one burger and fries.<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: “Does that complete your order?”<br />
<br />
Me: “I asked for a combo with onion rings.”<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: *looks at menu board* - “It comes with onion rings on it.”<br />
<br />
Me: “A side of onion rings instead of fries.”<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl becomes Confused Counter Girl. She scans the menu board. Looks at the register. Shouts “MANAGER!” Two Guys show up.<br />
<br />
“He wants...onion rings...instead of fries?”<br />
<br />
One of them swipes his override card. Fries disappear. She figits with the register. Onion rings appear, as does my drink. Transaction complete. She gives me the table number, but not a drink cup. I ask for one.<br />
<br />
“What did you want to drink?”<br />
<br />
Why is she asking me this? You just give me an empty cup and I fill it with whatever I want.<br />
<br />
Despite not asking this out loud, she anticipates my question. “It’s broken,” she says, pointing to the dining room fountain. “We have to get it from that one,” pointing to the drive-thru fountain.<br />
<br />
Coke eventually achieved.<br />
<br />
To quote the press release, “the new Bacon Truffle Angus Burger features a decadent truffle-infused white cheddar sauce, which has a deep, rich and savory flavor including notes of garlic, toasted onion and aged parmesan. The burger includes a charbroiled 100 percent Black Angus beef patty topped with the premium white cheddar truffle sauce, two slices of Applewood smoked bacon, crispy onion strings, Swiss cheese, caramelized onions and mayonnaise on a premium bun.” The fine print claims “natural and artificial truffle flavor”. There aint no real truffles in here, baby. Not at this price point.<br />
<br />
Looks great on paper. And...wow. TASTES great in mouth. The press release description absolutely nails what I’m tasting here. Smoky, maybe jut a bit mushroomy, and a bit garlicy. A perfect mix in any case. This may be one of the best burgers Carl’s Jr has ever come up with. There wasn’t a single bite of this burger I did not enjoy.<br />
<br />
Not available at Hardee’s, tragically.<br />
<br />
It’s kind of rare that an advertised LTO burger hits an expectation home run.<br />
<br />
This one did.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-89280528373444062342019-03-17T14:00:00.000-05:002019-03-17T15:14:21.295-05:00Auto Show 2019<b>Place: </b>Taco Time<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Crispy Taco (no tomato), crisp chicken burrito, cheddar fries, Pibb XTRA<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3vBL37of8wH-E-JBOm8mtpaLA56f2aro59eud1tVf-m5HDZFbu-Na1rvz4i8rg7vJB42dTG11ownbD3BY1g220_SWPsHT27Tq6WuJsjcTUnWiIu0tv67ILaca3R20lWKb956eSw/s1600/1C45F8E6-9A84-4A82-B778-53D29D947CF9.jpeg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1150" data-original-width="1600" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3vBL37of8wH-E-JBOm8mtpaLA56f2aro59eud1tVf-m5HDZFbu-Na1rvz4i8rg7vJB42dTG11ownbD3BY1g220_SWPsHT27Tq6WuJsjcTUnWiIu0tv67ILaca3R20lWKb956eSw/s320/1C45F8E6-9A84-4A82-B778-53D29D947CF9.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pretty much like this all the time now</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Our Taco Time, the last in the region that
has long been an island outside their core markets, is closing at the
end of the month. So everybody and their mother has been bombarding the
place with business since finding out to get their last crispy burrito
fix and to stock up the freezer with bulk orders. The lot at the
neighboring abandoned KFC has been acting as overflow parking. People
come in and have their partners grab a table while they stand in line to
order food to make sure those who got here ahead of them have no place
to sit. Jerks. The owner is all like "Well if business had been this
good all along, we'd have fixed the place up and stayed open!" Spiteful
little prick.<br />
<br />
I did the Auto Show Friday night. I
usually do it on a Saturday or Sunday morning, but I may do evenings
from now on. Smaller crowd, more relaxing atmosphere, and I got to
experience "AUTO SHOW AFTER DARK!" as the guy on the PA put it. They
dimmed the lights, replaced the girls modeling the cars with Playboy
bunnies, fired up the disco music, and rolled out casino games and a
cocaine and caviar buffet.<br />
<br />
Okay, most of that isn't true. They just dimmed the lights slightly. I have no idea why.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Audi</b><br />
<b><br /></b><i>A6 Sedan, A7 Sportback - </i>Essentially
the same car aside from the whole trunk-vs-hatch thing, they're all-new
for 2019 with a 3.0 turbo mild hybrid V6 and fancy new dual center
console touchscreens with improved everything, plus that configurable
digital cockpit instrument cluster. TIP: Go with the Sportback. It's
way cooler looking and more utilitarian. Frankly, all of the luxury
brands should be looking at sportback designs.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Q8 - </i>Audi calls it a "flagship crossover coupe". Remember when
coupes had two doors? This doesn't. But it's the modern-day equivalent
of what wealthy sports car buyers of the past want now. It's built on
the same platform as the seven-passenger Q7 (though it's smaller), the
Volkswagen Touraeg, the Porsche Cayenne, the Bentley Bentayga, and the
Lamborghini Urus. The design was inspired by the Audi Quattro of the
80's. It has an aggressive stance with an almost obnoxiously mean look
to the face of it. It has a 335 hp turbo V6 with a mild hybrid system
for stop/start and coasting efficiency and a wealth of luxury and tech
inside. This sucker can get from 0 to 60 in 5.6 seconds. The tuners
have already gotten their paws on this and have shown off some really
cool custom examples. Even at close to $100k fully loaded, Audi should
have no problem selling these. I found a comfortable seating position
in it faster than any other vehicle on the floor. Not sold on the
two-screen center console, but wow does the dash have a clean look. If I
were rich, I'd look at this.<br />
<br />
<i>RS5 Sportback - </i>Four
doors, a rear hatch, sexy lines, and 444 hp with 443 lb-ft of torque on
an all wheel drive system. You could do worse. You could do far, far
worse.<br />
<br />
<b>Buick</b><br />
<br />
<i>Regal TourX</i>
- It's a rebadged Opel Insignia station wagon. Not a tall station
wagon trying to be an SUV, just an old fashioned station wagon, which I
believe would be an exclusive to the segment in the GM line.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Cadillac</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>XT4 - </i>A new small crossover that slots in below the XT5 but isn't
like Chevy Trax small. It'll have a 2.0 turbo four making 237 hp tied
to a nine-speed transmission. The infotainment screen is new with more
buttons and less touch screen requirements than the horrible CUE
system. Like every attempt Cadillac has ever made to enter the compact
market, it will fail spectacularly. Girl sitting in it, commenting on
the rustic orangeish-brownish metallic color: "It reminds me of a
treeee!" Guy with her: "It reminds me of something I don't want."<br />
<br />
<b>Chevrolet</b><br />
<b><br /></b>Like
Ford, GM is slimming down it's lineup by cutting several traditional
cars as buyers shun them in favor of SUV's. Casualties at the Chevy
brand include Cruze, Impala, and Volt. That leaves Bolt, Camaro,
Malibu, Spark, and Sonic. Which is still way too many cars. In related
news, holy crap..Chevy still had eight cars in its lineup? <br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Blazer - </i>Remember these? For most of its life it was a truck
frame two-door SUV before the term SUV was coined. A video game jobber
friend of mine hauled machines to arcades in it. There was a smaller
version based on the S-10 in later years, and a version of that was even
available as a four-door. This new Blazer has nothing to do with
those. This is a two-row "sporty" SUV with Camaro styling cues,
especially in the interior. There's even an RS trim available. Unlike
Equinox, you can get a V6 for it. Pricing starts at $29k, but the
version you're really going to want (the AWD RS with Enhanced
Convenience and Driver Confidence II package) is closer to $50k.
Traditional Blazer fans are mad about the use of the Blazer name, so
buyers can expect the same nitwits who shout "THAT'S NOT REALLY A WOMAN"
at trans girls to shout "THAT'S NOT REALLY A BLAZER" at them
constantly.<br />
<br />
<i>Cruze - </i>Cruze may be done in the US
after this model year, but it's still popular abroad and will continue
production in other markets. As such, it's final US year includes an
already planned style refresh, mostly noticeable in the grille. Really,
hardly noticeable. But it's there. Some car experts are sort of
baffled why Chevy didn't keep this in the US lineup and just punt Spark
and Sonic. (HINT: It's not so hard to understand if you have a grasp on
union politics.)<br />
<br />
<i>Malibu - </i>Malibu gets a style
refresh, a CVT transmission on most models, and a new RS package that
sports up the appearance of the car without sporting up the performance
of the car. That's a classic Chevy deception move right out of the
eighties.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Silverado - </i>The big news with the all-new 2019 Silverado is an
available four cylinder turbo engine. In a full-size pickup. It's a
2.7 litre that apparently has 310hp. It has stop/start technology and
can cruise on two cylinders when appropriate to save fuel. Don't worry,
there's still a V6 and V8, though Autoweek claims the V6 is actually
less powerful than the new four-banger.<br />
<br />
<i>Spark -</i>
Spark gets a mild style refresh and some new safety aids in an effort
to...spark...interest. HA HA HA HA! See what I did...oh forget it.<br />
<br />
<b>Fiat</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>500x - </i>500x gets a style refresh and a new motor. The updates didn't include a bigger infotainment screen, which is disappointing.<br />
<br />
<b>Ford</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Ford announced last year that they're going to phase out most of their
cars in favor of SUV's and trucks. No more Taurus. No more Fusion. No
more Fiesta. No more Focus. Mustang lives. Lincoln sedans will not be
affected by this change. If there was anything new on the Ford stand, I
didn't notice.<br />
<br />
<b>GMC</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>Sierra - </i>If there's a new Chevy Silverado, there's going to be a
new Sierra, because they're basically the same thing in different
clothes. And I don't like Sierra's new wardrobe much.<br />
<br />
<b>Honda</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>HR-V - </i>Honda's baby SUV gets a style refresh and some advanced driver aid upgrades.<br />
<br />
<i>Passport - </i>Honda
revives a nameplate that once was essentially a rebadged Isuzu Rodeo.
It's now essentially a shorter 5-row version of Pilot. It's Honda's
answer to the new Chevy Blazer, Ford Edge, etc. You know what it makes
me think of? A revived GMC Envoy.<br />
<br />
<b>Hyundai</b><br />
<b><br /></b><i>Elantra - </i>Elantra gets a style refresh that gives it a more aggressive look.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Kona - </i>Hyundai's baby ute gets a full electric version in
California and some compliance states. It was supposed to be available
nationally, but according to the Hyundai rep at the show, "demand was so
high, they restricted sales to compliance states." Think about that.
Everybody wants it, so we'll make sure nobody can get it. Yeah. It can
go an impressive 258 miles on a single charge, which is better than any
EV sold in the US today not made by Tesla. It's front wheel drive only
and makes 201hp, which is pretty danged zippy for a tall hatchback.<br />
<br />
<i>Palisade - </i>An
all-new full-size 8 passenger SUV, basically Hyundai's take on sister
brand Kia's new Telluride. It really says something that there's
suddenly all these Chevy Suburban competitors out there.<br />
<br />
<i>Santa Fe </i>-
For the past few years, Hyundai has sold two Santa Fe's...the larger
Santa Fe, and the smaller Santa Fe Sport. The new Santa Fe is actually
the size of the smaller Santa Fe Sport. The old Santa Fe is now the
Santa Fe Plus, but it's only a stopgap model that will be replaced by
the previously mentioned Palisade. The new Santa Fe gets Kona's
squinty-eyed front end. I sat in this and the Kona (again), and
frankly, I think I'd prefer the Kona. At least until you compare back
seats.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Veloster - </i>The all-new second gen car is here. It's still bratty
and has that odd third door on the passenger side. There's a hot hatch
Turbo R-Spec version you can get with a six-speed manual or dual-clutch
automatic. 20 year-old me would have loved this.<br />
<br />
<b>Infiniti</b><br />
<b><br /></b>Infiniti
showed off an electric concept at Detroit this year that broke down
before they could drive it onto the stage, which is a perfect example of
how sad Nissan's luxury division has become. As for real new cars you
can buy? Not only is there nothing this year, they're discontinuing the
Q30/QX30 and pulling out of Western Europe completely. I could do my
usual rant about how some models haven't been updated in a decade or
more or the gross missteps they've made in models and technology they
HAVE updated, but what's the point. I swear, I could do a better job of
running Infiniti than any of the nitwits who actually have over the
past decade. The most stimulating conversation I heard at the Infiniti
stand? A woman who said to her friend "I like tacos. I really do." <br />
<br />
<b>Jeep</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>Cherokee - </i>Cherokee gets a new front end that gets rid of those
controversial squinty lights that you'd think are headlights but
aren't...those are really below in that boxy array of lights you
probably thought were fog lights...just as a bunch of other automakers
are adopting that very idea. The standard 2.4 four-banger and optional
V6 are joined by a new 2.0 turbo four that is a $500 option above the
V6, but returns slightly better gas mileage than either motor, though
premium gas is suggested for best performance. No Jeep fan is going to
buy that. Everybody complains about the transmission in these things,
but I drove a rental with the V6 last year and it worked fine for me,
and I got really good gas mileage for a V6, averaging 32 on the
highway. The 8.5 inch touchscreen and backup camera were the best I've
seen in any car. The instrument cluster is hard to read in the sun,
though.<br />
<br />
<i>Gladiator - </i>It's a pickup truck version
of Wrangler. Picture a Jeep Wrangler combined with a Hummer H1 and you
sort of get the idea. Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? Well
we have the vehicle for you.<br />
<br />
<b>Kia</b><br />
<br />
<i>Forte - </i>All
new for 2019. It's basic efficient transportation in a dressy package
with lots of standard and optional driver aids, comfort, and
entertainment tech.<br />
<br />
<i>K900 - </i>Ever heard of this
before? No? Me neither. Yet there's an all new next generation model
for 2019. It's a luxo-barge of a sedan designed for rich people who
want to be chauffeured. In other words, almost no one in the US, let
alone at close to $60k for a Kia-badged vehicle.<br />
<br />
<i>Niro - </i>Kia's
Prius fighter disguised as an SUV gets a plug-in hybrid that can go
about 25 miles on electric before the gas motor kicks in. I really
don;'t get the appeal to PHEV's, but I guess somebody does.<br />
<br />
<i>Telluride - </i>Kia adds a Suburban-size SUV to its lineup. The front end looks like it's designed to make the thing look ridiculously wide.<br />
<br />
<b>Land Rover</b><br />
<br />
<i>Range Rover Evoque -</i>
A bit longer, a bit better leg room, LED headlights, and better
displays. I drove one of these, my first ever experience with the
brand, earlier this year around Vegas and the Inland Empire. It tossed
around decently and had ample power, but being a British vehicle, I had to read
the owner's manual to figure out how a lot of stuff worked (including
the door locks) and why a lot of stuff didn't. Also, being a British vehicle, the
check engine light was naturally on by the time I returned it.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Lincoln</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>Aviator - </i>A new three-row people hauler that Lincoln uses a LOT
of aircraft puns to describe. The teaser ads on Twitter last Spring
said "Landing soon." But the only way you'll ever get this in the air
is to drive it over a cliff, and the landing will be anything but
graceful. It will have a twin turbo V6 and a plug-in hybrid option.
Your smartphone will act as the car's keyfob, which is awesome for the
elderly people who love Lincolns but carry those Consumer Cellular flip
phones because you'll never be able to start the damn thing. So maybe
pushing it over a cliff is the best option after all. Between this and
McDonald's requiring use of their app to get deals on Filet-o-Fish
during Fast Food Fish Season, it's clear America just wants the elderly
to die off already.<br />
<br />
<i>Nautilus</i> - A not so new
vehicle with a new name, this is the MKX with a style refresh. Lincoln
has been moving away from those dumb code naming schemes in favor of
real words. That's refreshing. It competes with vehicles like the Audi
Q5, the Infiniti QX50, the Cadillac XT5, and...see what I mean?<br />
<br />
<b>Mitsubishi</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Mitsubishi actually started television advertising again last year,
driven mostly towards selling the Eclipse Cross. But the Outlander and
Outlander Sport are still the big sellers. Oh, there's nothing new to
see here yet.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Nissan</b><br />
<br />
<i>Altima - </i>While Ford and Chevy get
rid of most of their sedans, Nissan fields an all new Altima. Good
timing...they can take advantage of disenfranchised American buyers.
It's sleeker looking, has sportier handling, and has a ginormous
infotainment screen that looks like an iPad you juryrigged onto the top
of your dash, a massive improvement over the puny screen on the previous
model. The back-up cam on that was completely useless if you were
wearing polarized sunglasses. The base 2.5 liter motor has been
extensively revamped and is more powerful and more efficient than the
old model (which was already decent power-wise and absurdly efficient).
The V6 option is gone in favor of the variable compression turbo four
that debuted in the Infiniti QX50 last year. In a new twist, all-wheel
drive is an option. Nissan's semi-autonomous ProPilot is available, and
apparently there's tech that can read road signs and warn you of things
like if you're speeding., which I'm sure will be as annoying as the
"low outside temperature" warning my Altima warned me about ALL THE
FREAKING TIME. YES I KNOW IT'S COLD OUT. Hey, can we get that VC-Turbo
in the next-gen Rogue too?<br />
<br />
Thing is, with all the
updates, sitting in it still feels like an Altima. Everything is right
where you left it, it's just a bit nicer now. And that's just fine. I
still maintain that if you want the ideal compromise of size, handling,
efficiency, comfort, and performance for long distance driving, Altima
is the vehicle to get.<br />
<br />
<i>Murano - </i>Murano gets a
style refresh and Nissan's Safety Shield 360 is available in all trims
(standard on SL). No ProPilot. Because why would they on Nissan's
snazziest SUV.<br />
<br />
<i>Rogue Sport - </i>The smaller Rogue
which isn't really the same vehicle but gets called that to make Rogue's
selling numbers more impressive (all told, the two Rogues are the
second best selling non pickup truck in the US behind...and just barely
behind...Toyota's RAV4) gets a style refresh that makes it look
more...sporty. It isn't, though. It carries over the same motor that
Nissan fans thought was a dumb choice when the model was launched. <br />
<br />
<b>Rivian</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Rivian is an electric startup that hopes to begin deliveries in late
2020 out of the old Mitsubishi plant in Normal, IL. Ever driven around
Bloomington-Normal and wonder why there's so many Mitsubishi's? That's
why. Normal is also where Steak n Shake was founded, so extra cool
bonus points. They're planning to launch with two vehicles that appear
to target off-roaders like Jeep fans. They like to use the phrase
"Electric Adventure". They should cut a deal with Maverik Convenience
Stores to put up charging stations, since Maverik is "Adventure's First
Stop".<br />
<br />
<i>R1S</i> - A three-row SUV that sort of looks
like a Ford Flex and a Hummer H2 mated. It has all wheel drive via an
electric motor on each wheel, 230 to 410 mile range depending on how you
option it, and up to nearly 800 horsepower. The "slow" one can go 0-60
in under 5 seconds. It has off-road capability comparable to a
Jeep. Prices start at $72,500.<br />
<br />
<i>R1T -</i> A pickup
truck version of the above. The cheap ones will start around $69,000.
Said to have up to 11,000 pounds of towing capacity. (The R1S "only"
has 7,700.) They are taking deposits if you want one of the first.<br />
<br />
<b>Subaru</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<i>Ascent - </i>Subie joins the three-row SUV ratpack with a
Highlander-sized SUV. It's the biggest vehicle Subaru has ever made,
but it's still a four-cylinder CVT vehicle. There's no V6 option.<br />
<br />
<i>Crosstrek - </i>Crosstrek gets a plug-in hybrid option for 2019 that's borrowed from Toyota.<br />
<br />
<i>Forester - </i>All-new
for 2019. You could place pictures of the 2018 and 2019 next to each
other and play a game of "spot the differences" and it would be a
challenge. But inside there's a bigger screen and nicer interior. The
engine and driver aids have also advanced.<br />
<br />
<b>Toyota</b><i> </i><br />
<br />
Toyota
had a giant plastic asterisk in their area that said "*Boring is not an
option" on it. That's true. Boring comes standard on EVERY Toyota.<br />
<br />
<i>Corolla Hatchback - </i>This
new model evolved from the Scion iM (sold last year as Corolla iM).
It's now faster and sharper but not quite on a GTI level. But it's also
quite a bit cheaper. It sure feels cheap inside.<br />
<br />
<i>Corolla Hybrid - </i>Corolla
gets a new hybrid version that rides on the Prius platform. Actually,
it sounds like it's basically a Prius disguised as a Corolla.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>RAV4 - </i>The best selling non pickup truck in the US is redesigned
for 2019. It has an aggressive new style. The front end looks REALLY
angry. Like Frownie the Brownie angry. The professional car reviewers
are all saying you should go with the hybrid version, which has a more
composed ride and waaay better gas mileage with 41 mpg city and 37 mpg
highway estimates. It sits nice and I liked the control layout.<br />
<br />
<i>Supra - </i>Toyota
revives this sports car badge for an all-new...sports car. Which is
impressive in an era where car companies are using legendary sports car
names on SUV's. The bad news is speculation on the future of the 86,
the much cheaper sports car co-built with Subaru, who sells their
version as the BRZ. If I were in the coupe market, I'd prefer the 86
over the Supra.<br />
<br />
<b> </b><br />
<b>Volkswagen</b><br />
<br />
I
almost bought an old Tiguan this year. A cheap 2009 model with just
north of 100k on the clock. Why? It had a six-speed manual and looked
really nice. Thought it might make a fun project car. Something that
could be morphed into being more GTI-like. Then I went through the VW
forums to see what issues I should look for and found out about VW's
epic fail in timing chain design and the class action that ensued. And I
laughed and laughed and laughed and that ended that. If you must own a
Volkswagen, buy it new and plan on selling it the day before the
warranty expires. By the way, if you want a reminder of how flimsy cars
in the eighties were built, close the door on a new Tiguan with the
window rolled down. There's that classic rattle.<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Beetle - </i>The current generation
Beetle will end production this year without a replacement. The
follow-up to the "New Beetle", which was a sensation when it was
introduced in 1998 (I had a 2000 New Beetle GLX and it ranks as one of
my favorite cars ever) never really caught on in an era where car buyers
are all but abandoning passenger cars...let alone coupes...in favor of
SUV's. However, there's talk of a new Beetle EV coming eventually. I
would love to see that. I also have a vision in my head of an SUV-sized
Beetle that would be completely ridiculous and amazing.<br />
<br />
<i>Golf - </i>Golf
gets a motor demotion with the 1.4 turbo from the new Jetta moving into
this model, replacing a more powerful but less efficient 1.8. The next
gen Golf should debut next year.<br />
<br />
<i>GTI</i> - The hot
hatch legend gets a "Rabbit Edition", paying tribute to the brand VW
marketed the first generation Golf under in the US. It's basically a
trim package. Hop along, bunny.<br />
<br />
<i>Jetta GLI - </i>The
sport version of VW's best seller is here and is really the Jetta you
want with its 228 hp four and standard six-speed manual. A dual clutch
auto is optional. It gets similar performance upgrades to the GTI, a
honeycomb grille, cool wheels, and painted brake calipers. It will not
be mistaken for the ordinary Jetta, but they had a prototype GLI here, and it's not
as impressive looking in person as it is in pictures. <br />
<br />
<i>Passat - </i>The
American Passat, which is different than the European and Chinese
Passats, gets a style refresh to make it look like the new Jetta. Since
it's not a full redesign and staying on an outdated platform, it
doesn't have the ability to have a lot of advanced tech you see in other
models because VW still believes the US is a third-world country. The
Euro and Chinese Passats ride on VW's newer platforms and have no such
limitations. I suggest you go look at Nissan's new Altima instead.<br />
<br />
<i>Touareg - </i>VW's
original SUV which was big, inefficient, and super expensive, is all
new for 2019. It's bigger, nicer, and even more super expensive. And
because of that and the fact VW has the Atlas in the US now, the US
isn't even getting the new Touareg. That model is done here. Sorry
kids. You'll just have to make do with platform mates Audi Q7, the new
Q8, or Porsche Cayenne. Honestly, for that kind of money, you may as
well get an Audi badge out of the deal.<br />
<br />
<b>Volvo</b><br />
<b><br /></b><i>S60 - </i>All
new US-built sedan from Volvo's shiny new plant in South Carolina. I
don't care how many foreign manufacturers have built cars here for
decades, this idea just seems a bit odd.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>V60 -</i> All new for 2019, the most modern take on the classic Volvo wagon. Not as boxy, has a lower,<br />
sportier
profile. My dad used to like the old Volvos because they were "easy to
fix on the road when they broke down." Not that that happened much.<br />
<br />
<b>Zotye</b><br />
<br />
You
know when you go to the Chinese buffet and they have a skill crane
machine by the entrance full of cheap Chinese iPod knockoffs? Zotye is
the car equivalent of that. They build cheap vehicles that borrow or
just outright copy other car designs. Their big seller seems to be the
T600, a compact SUV that looks exactly like a WW Tiguan up front and an
Audi Q5 from the A-pillar back. Which, frankly, makes it look better
overall than either of the German cars. They use a Mitsubishi-sourced
2-litre four-cylinder motor, which by default probably makes them way
more reliable too.<br />
<br />
Zotye plans to be selling cars in
the US by the end of next year, starting with a slightly more vaguely
designed version of the T600. They expect to be priced about 20% below
similar competitors. They've already named initial dealers and
apparently plan to have an online sales presence too. I went through a
bunch of owner reviews which appeared to mostly come from ex-Soviet
countries and they all liked theirs, referring to them as cheap
dependable transportation with a lot of features for the money.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-9404004447220512752019-03-08T11:30:00.000-06:002019-03-08T15:51:57.114-06:00End of the Road<b>Place: </b>Freddy's Frozen Custard & Steakburgers<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Fish sandwich, cheese fries, Pepsi<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: "How are you today?"<br />
<br />
Me: "Fine! How are you?"<br />
<br />
"Smiling Counter Girl: "I wish Spring would get here already."<br />
<br />
Me: "Yeah."<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: "At least it's rain this weekend, not snow."<br />
<br />
Me: "Yeah. Maybe we'll get a little melting done."<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: "Yeah."<br />
<br />
Me: "..."<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: "..."<br />
<br />
Smiling Counter Girl: "So, did you want to order some food?"<br />
<br />
Saw my first and probably last show of KISS's "End of the Road" tour last night. I'm really lacking the stamina for these arena shows anymore. I have good days and I have bad days since my health issues a couple years back. I can't stand up for long stretches of time in any case, and you jerks won't sit down and watch the show even though you paid for perfectly good SEATS. I don't want to stare at your butts. I am not a butt person. Don't even get me started on thongs. So I really need to retire from going to arena shows.<br />
<br />
The girl next to me was having a blast. I was up and air guitaring and singing along to "Deuce" and she was right there with me screaming every lyric and even getting a little physical. It was her fourth ever KISS show, my sixteenth, which impressed the hell out of her. I hated being such a bore the rest of the time.<br />
<br />
My personal KISStory dates back to the summer of 1978. We didn't have much access to rock music on that remote island in middle of nowhere. There was no such thing as rock on television aside from maybe Burt Sugarman's Midnight Special then. There were two local radio stations. One was a public station that played snotty classical and new age nonsense. The commercial station on the AM dial played a current adult contemporary hit, then a catalog adult contemporary or country crossover hit, then an ancient beautiful music selection. They rotated those three categories all day. It was as surreal as it was ridiculous. (Yes, that's where I started my radio career.) At night, you could pick up AM hit stations out of Vancouver and Victoria, and KEX out of my beloved hometown of Portland (also KISS guitarist Tommy Thayer’s hometown...in fact he graduated from the same high school my mother did). But even there it was the hits, and no hard rock. And my brain was craving something harder. Something I didn't even really know for sure existed, but I wanted to find anyway.<br />
<br />
I found it by browsing the racks at the local record store (and we had a surprisingly good one). I bought records and tapes based on nothing but album cover art. And that's how I came to buy my first KISS album, "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Gun" target="_blank">Love Gun</a>". That album cover was the literal visual description of what I'd hoped to find.<br />
<br />
Wade, the older kid who lived next door, was not impressed. "You bought WHAT? Gross! They spit ketchup on stage!"<br />
<br />
Yeah, whatever.<br />
<br />
I put the tape in my portable cassette player. I hit play. And the first thing I heard was the scorching opening guitar riffs to "I Stole Your Love". And that's all it took. It was exactly what I was looking for. It was exactly what I needed.<br />
<br />
The second KISS album I got was "Hotter Than Hell", purchased at a Musicland in Butte, Montana during that <a href="http://tesg.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-milepost.html" target="_blank">last great road trip</a> my family took. It is to this day my favorite KISS album.<br />
<br />
KISS, of course, was known more for their outlandish shows and visuals than music. So that led me to magazines that featured pictures of the band and their shows, which in turn gave me another outlet to discover other bands. But none of them carried the infatuation I had with KISS. My bedroom walls were covered in KISS posters. And by the end of that first summer, that neighbor kid Wade's bedroom was too.<br />
<br />
I couldn't actually have the ultimate KISS experience and go to any shows, of course. We didn't have any such thing on any level up there. And the band was in turmoil by the time I found them. There were the solo albums. Then the two poppy discoey albums. Then the mother of all disasters known as "The Elder", which was so poorly received they didn't even bother trying to support with a tour. It was like finding the ultimate party where you’d finally found your people and the place where you fit in just as everyone was going home.<br />
<br />
I still didn't abandon the band as so many did, though it was a complete surprise to see "Creatures of the Night" on the new release shelf. And that was a great album. To this day, I probably listen to it more than any other KISS record. KISS got a new groove and really created a new legacy in the unmasked era of the eighties.<br />
<br />
It was May 26, 1990 when I finally got to see a KISS show. The "Hot in the Shade" tour, Red River Fairgrounds, Fargo, North Dakota. An outdoor show the radio station I worked for at the time was involved in promoting, so we were all there for free. Knowing the limitations of the stage there, I didn't feel like I'd get to see the whole experience (and what an experience it was, the stage set had a massive sphinx...cleverly nicknamed Leon...as its backdrop), so I also got tickets for the next show in Duluth the following night.<br />
<br />
What did they open those shows with? What was the first thing I got to hear KISS play live?<br />
<br />
"I Stole Your Love".<br />
<br />
The story had come full circle.<br />
<br />
What is it that makes a KISS show so unforgettable? Sure you've got the trademark fireworks and theatrics, but you also have a lot of great party songs. Who's released more timeless anthems than KISS? "Shout It Out Loud." "Detroit Rock City." "God of Thunder." "I Love It Loud." "Heaven's on Fire." "Lick It Up." And, of course, "Rock and Roll All Night." That music is built to thrill a live audience. How can you not sing along? No band can give an audience a rock and roll high like KISS can, and nobody works harder to do so. Yeah, the vocals are a little frazzled now, but they still bring it. And the new stage show and the amount of pyro used is just ridiculous.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_oKaLlVIkUvzwrl4EnxHLlvdBS5l8regiS0cghJEaIj7hddM9wZy-AiK7pKG3ezTjW2TtzRLi7QnYIaMFs5syA1bKpqpuytmxSIyag4dPyfgeYhVpY9CQDhy5NgLpcN-WRVmVSg/s1600/IMG_0799.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="753" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_oKaLlVIkUvzwrl4EnxHLlvdBS5l8regiS0cghJEaIj7hddM9wZy-AiK7pKG3ezTjW2TtzRLi7QnYIaMFs5syA1bKpqpuytmxSIyag4dPyfgeYhVpY9CQDhy5NgLpcN-WRVmVSg/s320/IMG_0799.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It would have been impossible for that kid back in 1978 to comprehend being able to see KISS live 40 years later.<br />
<br />
But I'm thrilled that I did.<br />
<br />
<b>All sixteen of my KISS shows:</b><br />
<br />
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</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">5/26/1990</td>
<td>Fargo</td>
<td>ND</td>
<td>Red River Valley Speedway</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">5/27/1990</td>
<td>Duluth</td>
<td>MN</td>
<td>Duluth Entertainment Convention Center</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">12/10/1992</td>
<td>Portland</td>
<td>OR</td>
<td>Memorial Coliseum</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">7/12/1996</td>
<td>Moline</td>
<td>IL</td>
<td>MARK of the Quad Cities</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">10/23/1996</td>
<td>Omaha</td>
<td>NE</td>
<td>Omaha Civic Auditorium</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">4/19/1997</td>
<td>Ames</td>
<td>IA</td>
<td>Hilton Coliseum</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">4/26/1997</td>
<td>Fargo</td>
<td>ND</td>
<td>Fargodome</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">12/19/1998</td>
<td>Cedar Rapids</td>
<td>IA</td>
<td>Five Seasons Center</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">4/4/2000</td>
<td>Oklahoma City</td>
<td>OK</td>
<td>Myriad Convention Center</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">5/16/2000</td>
<td>Moline</td>
<td>IL</td>
<td>MARK of the Quad Cities</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">8/30/2000</td>
<td>Ames</td>
<td>IA</td>
<td>Hilton Coliseum</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">6/2/2000</td>
<td>Cedar Rapids</td>
<td>IA</td>
<td>US Cellular Arena</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">8/11/2012</td>
<td>Las Vegas</td>
<td>NV</td>
<td>Mandalay Bay Events Center</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">6/23/2014</td>
<td>West Valley City</td>
<td>UT</td>
<td>USANA Amphitheatre</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">8/20/2014</td>
<td>Des Moines</td>
<td>IA</td>
<td>Wells Fargo Arena</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl67" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">3/7/2019</td>
<td>Omaha</td>
<td>NE</td>
<td>CHI Health Center</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-3528841269554936192019-02-22T07:30:00.000-06:002019-02-22T15:10:37.180-06:00Fake Burgers<b>Place</b>: White Castle<br />
<b>Lunch (for Breakfast)</b>: Four original Sliders, one Impossible Slider, one Sausage, Egg and Cheese Slider, <strike>Orange Hi-C</strike> Fanta Orange<br />
<br />
I navigate the menu on the Coke Freestyle to Hi-C Orange. I push the button. A little bit comes out, then it quits and the whole line of Hi-C everything goes to "out of stock" mode.<br />
<br />
*sigh*<br />
<br />
So I keep what it poured and filled the rest of the cup with Fanta Orange instead.<br />
<br />
This is an increasingly rare example of a company manufactured White Castle. PSB (Porcelain Steel Buildings) Company was a White Castle division that manufactured everything from the building structure to the kitchen equipment to the fixtures you found in a White Castle from 1934 until maybe the last decade or two. Truck it all to the site and assemble. PSB was sold off just a few years ago, along with a spinoff that made fertilizer spreaders. White Castle wasn't PSB's exclusive client...they built lots of non-associated restaurants and those metal gas stations you remember from the mid 20th century.<br />
<br />
I used to know someone who's brother was a vegetarian. One day, he ordered a cheese quesadilla and was given a ground beef and cheese quesadilla. He decided to just make it vegetarian himself by scraping off the ground beef. This, of course, doesn't really work because the whole thing is still contaminated by the animal fat. So naturally, he found the resulting quesadilla to be the greatest thing he'd ever tasted.<br />
<br />
We'll get back to that.<br />
<br />
There are meat lovers, and there are meat haters. The meat lovers love a good burger. The meat haters love to eat something that looks like a burger to...I don't know...fit in? But what they're eating is a mashed up glob of vegetable and potato starches that tastes awful and has the texture of cardboard. It's no wonder they seem so angry when they yell at you for having the audacity of enjoying your delicious, juicy slab of ground up dead cow. <br />
<br />
But there’s two new players in the game said to improve on the non-meat burger experience, and they’ve gotten themselves in the door of some familiar fast food chains. Their approach is referred to "plant-based meat".<br />
<br />
Colorado-based Beyond Meat uses a patty that is primarily pea protein. It has beet juice to give it its red color and sort of its ability to “bleed” like meat. Critics claim there's too much sodium and too many highly processed ingredients. Among its many ingredients is coconut oil. You know, that crap they use in theatre popcorn that, depending on who you ask, is either the healthiest stuff in the world or is killing us all at an alarming rate. Beyond claims their product differs from traditional veggie burgers by looking, cooking, and “satisfying” like a beef burger. <br />
<br />
Carl’s Jr has started selling the “Beyond Famous Star”, a version of their signature burger with a Beyond Meat patty. I recently ordered one of each, dressed identically, to do a side-by-side taste test.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXW7IsUozUo4M3U8hz1HXLeJzg1SrWQyXo_I8WqpseO5Y3q8tzSwJUpM7GmFrxV_wP8VzHzX8DKwy203E8N8a-2OYCDRIgyFvHMB2S7-pV-wLaGg8oPgdRnTYZF-Lu7eVW6FACWA/s1600/C0003C98-EBAF-436B-8482-E22AC7742EC9.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXW7IsUozUo4M3U8hz1HXLeJzg1SrWQyXo_I8WqpseO5Y3q8tzSwJUpM7GmFrxV_wP8VzHzX8DKwy203E8N8a-2OYCDRIgyFvHMB2S7-pV-wLaGg8oPgdRnTYZF-Lu7eVW6FACWA/s320/C0003C98-EBAF-436B-8482-E22AC7742EC9.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of these is not like the other</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Well, they look the same. They don’t quite smell the same. I take a bite of the Beyond version.<br />
<br />
Well, it’s doesn’t feel like cardboard. The texture has improved, but it’s still not beef-like.<br />
<br />
<i>But does it taste like beef?</i><br />
<br />
No. No it doesn’t. <br />
<br />
<i>Okay, but does it taste good?</i><br />
<br />
No. No it doesn’t. It’s sort of a bean-tofu type taste that lingers. It’s still no more edible than older veggie patties. If you made me choose between Beyond and a traditional veggie patty, I would say make which ever one you wish because I am just going to remove the patty and eat the rest.<br />
<br />
Actually, make it the veggie burger. The aftertaste of the Beyond patty still lingered ten minutes after leaving despite the fact I only ate a couple bites and then ate a whole regular Famous Star after and drank two Cokes. Even my hands smelled like it. And after washing them a half hour later, they still smelled kind of like wet dog. I don't recall that problem with any regular veggie burger (though it's been years).<br />
<br />
If you really hate life, you can substitute the Beyond patty on any burger in their lineup for a $2 upcharge. Del Taco is also selling a Beyond Meat version of their taco. What are the chances I’ll be trying that? Literally ZERO.<br />
<br />
A similar product is creating a similar buzz. The Impossible Meats people claim their stuff "delivers all the flavor, aroma and beefiness of meat from cows."<br />
<br />
Uh huh.<br />
<br />
Impossible is made primarily of wheat and potato protein, colored by heme. ("What's heme?" "Here, watch a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=85&v=QB-90-LEPZ4">video.</a>") There's some other stuff related to binders and fats (yes, including coconut oil.)<br />
<br />
Which is why we're at White Castle this morning. White Castle has made available an Impossible Slider. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ2HXTGj3QqH_AYtX3c7z4XACdfbYo7qYbgVNk1k5nWD3GAKfH0DHyWSndZM2pHcJdYxFiihITKpZgJ_628uUq0K6w5fPmB7J9D1ggnsHB9gsselA2IBYr9DQMvtkCREqN5jdL5Q/s1600/IMG_0701.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ2HXTGj3QqH_AYtX3c7z4XACdfbYo7qYbgVNk1k5nWD3GAKfH0DHyWSndZM2pHcJdYxFiihITKpZgJ_628uUq0K6w5fPmB7J9D1ggnsHB9gsselA2IBYr9DQMvtkCREqN5jdL5Q/s320/IMG_0701.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Original Slider, Impossible Slider, Sausage, Egg & Cheese Breakfast Slider</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The first thing you'll notice is the Impossible Slider is way more impressive looking with a patty twice as thick as the Original Slider and lacking the five holes in the patty. It's also topped with a slice of cheddar. Nice.<br />
<br />
<i>But does it taste good?</i><br />
<br />
*bites in, chews, spits out almost immediately*...OH GOD! EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING! *guzzles Fanta*<br />
<br />
<i>But does it taste like beef?</i><br />
<br />
Are you kidding? It tastes like an indescribable horror. Having said that, it actually did have a beef-like texture.<br />
<br />
Here's the thing...it's clear to me vegetarians who claim this stuff tastes like meat have no idea what meat tastes like in the first place. It goes back to the guy who fell in love with the animal fat saturated cheese quesadilla. He had no idea what he'd been missing.<br />
<br />
The real question, however, is why do vegetarians want to look like they’re eating a burger to the point of putting themselves through this nonsense? Just order the burger without the burger patty. Have a condiment and veggie sandwich. Even I could eat that. I have a friend who orders her tacos with beans substituting for beef at Taco Bell all the time. She's not even vegetarian...she just prefers them that way.<br />
<br />
So what's next? Lab meat (or "clean meat") is essentially meat grown in a lab using animal cells. That's right...they're <i>growing</i> burger patties. It's not commercialized yet, but it's coming. They've even attracted investors who are in the real meat business.<br />
<br />
Yes, I'll probably try it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-66033883996696483632019-01-30T13:30:00.000-06:002019-02-01T02:20:15.829-06:00Bacon Mac<b>Place: </b>McDonald's<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Bacon Big Mac, Bacon Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Bacon Cheddar Fries, Hawaiian Punch<br />
<br />
We're on the tail end of the Polar Vortex in the upper Midwest. I spent it in bed re-watching Season 1 of "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" and being disappointed in myself for not inventing a cheesy video game called "Polar Vortex" back in the eighties. I probably could have retired on that and spent my life traveling, eating all sorts of regional fast food cheeseburgers and chili dogs and making other poor life choices. As opposed to me now, which is basically the same person but under the title of "unemployed".<br />
<br />
I decided to emerge from the Townhouse of Solitude for the first time this week and run some errands. The cats were all like "WHAT? NO! YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE ANYMORE! THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW!" A couple of stops and a conversation with the Trader Joe's cashier later (commenting on me running around in an open jacket and T-shirt in these temperatures), I arrived at McDonald's for lunch.<br />
<br />
McDonald's is on a bacon kick. They're currently promoting "McDonald's Classics with Bacon", bacon-enhanced Big Macs and Quarter Pounders. Bacon on a Quarter Pounder? Yeah, I could see that. On a Big Mac? Hmmm, I don't know. But they're just incidental promotions for the real reason you're going to check this out...McDonald's is also offering bacon cheddar fries.<br />
<br />
Bacon cheeseburgers are nothing new. I've been a regular consumer since I first saw such a thing at Hardee's back in the eighties. Cheese fries and bacon cheese fries aren't really new either. But they are new to McDonald's. For a lot of people, adding bacon and soupy fake cheddar to McDonald's fries has been the holy grail of food fantasy.<br />
<br />
Let's give it a go, shall we.<br />
<br />
As of this writing, you have to go into the store and order these items from a counter person. They're not listed on the McDonald's app. Because why would they be.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ7IEQ4y0OTWWtb8rQvk_WfSjuZnzZbIyMEkvS33x45tJs73KxIsbsYLILhYBY_4255Kx-u4KoqRQM2MoMU0vmrPI_dv1iU0BAH5U4RVL1PmzF7_O1Fm4jJbgIhufKzcpM0_3-Jg/s1600/IMG_0640.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ7IEQ4y0OTWWtb8rQvk_WfSjuZnzZbIyMEkvS33x45tJs73KxIsbsYLILhYBY_4255Kx-u4KoqRQM2MoMU0vmrPI_dv1iU0BAH5U4RVL1PmzF7_O1Fm4jJbgIhufKzcpM0_3-Jg/s320/IMG_0640.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On a clear day you can see BACON</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Quarter Pounder with Cheese</b><br />
<br />
You could actually get bacon as an option prior to this promotion. The option is available in the Customize section of their app (under "Condiments" of all things). You couldn't do this with the Big Mac.<br />
<br />
There's really no surprise here. If you've had a bacon cheeseburger at any other chain that fries burgers on a regular grill, you know what to expect here. And you won't be disappointed. It's exactly what you're expecting. <br />
<br />
<b>Bacon Cheddar Fries</b><br />
<br />
There's three places where I will always order
fries...Freddy's, Steak n Shake, and McDonald's. They're as good as
fries get. Most other chains, I can't stand them. But I love the
skinny shoestrings at Freddy's and Steak n Shake. And nobody makes
fries like McDonald's. I even like them cold and soggy.<br />
<br />
If
I'm dining in, my fries at Freddy's and Steak n Shake are covered in
cheese. This has never been an option at McDonald's...until now. It's a wonder why it took this long.<br />
<br />
They're served in a box and come with a knife (?) and fork. There's a nice thick liquid cheese with bits of what appears to be freshly cooked bacon in it. The flavor of the cheese and the bacon are distinct and work well together. And they completely overwhelm the classic taste of McDonald's fries.<br />
<br />
Which is to say...this is a fail.<br />
<br />
There are some fries in the box that are dry. When I eat them separately for comparison, I find I actually prefer them.<br />
<br />
I used to hate mashed potatoes. I liked baked potatoes, but not mashed. My grandmother used to insist this made no sense. "They're the same thing," she would say.<br />
<br />
"No, you put milk in them," I would respond.<br />
<br />
"But you like milk too."<br />
<br />
"But when you put them together, it's gross," I would reply.<br />
<br />
This is a similar situation. I mean, it's not gross at all, but these three things just don't belong together. I guess McDonald's knew what they were doing all along.<br />
<br />
You know what I would like to try? A bacon cheddar version of the Filet-O-Fish. The same bacon cheddar mix they put on the fries atop the fish filet instead of tartar sauce. That would be interesting. <br />
<br />
<b>Big Mac</b><br />
<br />
I am not expecting much here. The Big Mac is a delicate balance of the perfect mix of flavors. That's what makes it the best selling burger that it is. There's nothing quite like it.<br />
<br />
The bacon is nestled between the top patty and the middle bun. I rotate the burger to find a spot where bacon is peeking out and take a bite.<br />
<br />
Holy crap.<br />
<br />
This totally works.<br />
<br />
What I expected to be the biggest disappointment turned out to be the most pleasant surprise. The bacon provides a perfect smoky accent to the classic Big Mac taste. It isn't invasive at all. It compliments the overall flavor. THIS is the thing they should have been doing years ago.<br />
<br />
Wow.<br />
<br />
<b>Burger King's Big King XL</b><br />
<br />
Burger King has always encouraged adding bacon to any sandwich on the menu. You'll usually find a card promoting that right by the register. You have to do this in-store though,as their not-ready-for-prime-time app doesn't give you the option on any sandwich. They don't let you add extra anything through the app, actually. Have it your way? Screw you, app users.<br />
<br />
Since BK is currently offering a new take on their Big Mac copycat, why not.<br />
<br />
The Big King has been presented in a number of formats over the years, from a proper three-bun double decker to a standard double cheeseburger with the special sauce to...well...this. The XL version is a double cheeseburger using the Whopper patties and bun with Big Mac toppings. That's a full half pound plus of beef vs 3.2 ounces in a Big Mac (or as BK puts it, "175 percent more beef."). It's honestly way too much beef and ruins that magical mixture of flavors. But it makes for good manly testosterone boasting in their commercials, I guess. <br />
<br />
Me (last week): "Big King XL combo with onion rings, add bacon to the burger."<br />
<br />
Frowning Counter Girl: "Um, it already comes with bacon."<br />
<br />
Me: *looks at register, sees she actually inputted a Bacon King*<br />
<br />
Me: "No, not the Bacon King, the Big King XL."<br />
<br />
Frowning Counter Girl: "Oh." *looks at register confused, grabs manager*<br />
<br />
"Where's that XL thing?"<br />
<br />
He points at it.<br />
<br />
"Oh," she says, and enters the order.<br />
<br />
The bacon peeks out over the mountain of beef. And it ultimately provides no flavor enhancement to the burger. It's overwhelmed by the charbroiled beef, just like most of the toppings.<br />
<br />
Oh well.<br />
<br />
Bottom line...if you love bacon and want the best bacon cheeseburger, the champion is still Wendy's Baconator. That and Wendy's chili are the only reasons I ever go there. I'm certainly not there for their fries.<br />
<br />
But definitely try the Bacon Big Mac.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-84128989390670877472018-12-30T12:00:00.000-06:002018-12-31T20:18:49.930-06:00Forgotten Toast<b>Place: </b>Slim Chickens<br />
<b>Lunch:</b> Eight Wing Plate (Spicy Korean sauce, ranch), potato salad, cranberry lemonade<br />
<br />
Hey, they forgot the toast. Oh well. I don't really care.<br />
<br />
It's almost New Year's, so let's do that year in review thing now in case I forget later because after nearly a month of not working, I'm losing concept of time. I should probably get over that because I have a flight to catch later this week. I think. Maybe. *scratches head* I should set an alarm or something. If I can remember how to set an alarm.<br />
<br />
<i>Headline of the Year - </i>"Utah bars have started warning each other about rogue male stripper troupes that come through town." What???<br />
<br />
<i>Oops of the Year - </i>Ever check in to your hotel, go to your room, unlock the door, and discover somebody else is already staying there? That happened to me this year.<br />
<br />
<i>Dream of the Year - </i>Dreamed I was driving somewhere but couldn't get there because some guy had closed the road to expand his yard.<br />
<br />
<i>Bad Luck of the Year - </i>Got new tires in April. One replaced under road hazard warranty in June. Second replaced under road hazard warranty in December. If this keeps up, I'm never going to have to buy a new set of tires again. <br />
<br />
<i>Dumb McDonald's Move of the Year - </i>Every year for Fast Food Fish Season, McDonald's has a special on Filet-O-Fish. This year, they limited that special to a coupon that required you to use their phone app, effectively shutting out the elderly, the biggest consumers of fast food fish. They later did the same thing with McRib.<br />
<br />
<i>Fortune Cookie of the Year - </i>"Attitude is more important than facts." The very definition of politics.<br />
<br />
<i>Radio Ad of the Year - </i>"Is your credit so dirty it needs disinfectant and a safe word?"<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Album of the Year - </i>Beach House "7". No reason why. Honestly, it was kind of a slow year.<br />
<br />
<i>Movie of the Year - </i>"Aquaman". For me, anyway.<br />
<br />
<i>Streaming Movie of the Year - </i>"Roma" (Netflix) takes some effort to watch, but the last fourth or so of the movie has three incredibly powerful scenes.<br />
<br />
<i>Television of the Year - </i>The CW's "Supernatural" had a crossover episode with...Scooby Doo. It actually exceeded my expectations.<br />
<br />
<i>Television Advertising for Dummies of the Year - </i>Silk changed their package design and ran an ad campaign that dumbed down the changes as if their customers would have a hard time understanding what essentially is a bigger logo on the package. It REALLY came off as overkill.<br />
<br />
<i>Creepy Commercial of the Year - </i>Am I the only one who found the facial expressions of the girl in the Viasat commercial they ran earlier this year disturbing?<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Television Commercial Overkill of the Year - </i>Did Sia give Target a bulk rate on royalties for use of "Round and Round" in their ads or something? <br />
<br />
<i>Retail Change of the Year - </i>Best Buy stopped selling CD's. In even more shocking news, Best Buy still exists. <br />
<br />
<i>Weird Sports News of the Year - </i>Vince McMahon announced the resurrection of the XFL. I still have an XFL football from the last time it failed.<br />
<br />
<i>Fast Food Branding of the Year - </i>Discovered there's a burger chain in Illinois called "Meatheads".<br />
<br />
<i>Fast Food LTO of the Year - </i>I really liked Burger King's Cheesy Bacon Crispy Chicken. I guess they had to find something to do with all that cheese sauce they bought for that disaster of a sandwich that wins the...<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Fast Food Disappointment of the Year - </i>Burger King's Philly Cheese Cheeseburger. I don't even get the connection.<br />
<br />
<i>Fast Food Hack of the Year - </i>You know those Hot Chili Seasoning sauce packets Wendy's gives out with their chili? Turns out that crap makes for a decent taco sauce.<br />
<br />
<i>Fast Food Regret of the Year - </i>"OH MY GOD THEY HAVE A TRIPLE DOUBLE CRUNCHWRAP!" - Taco Bell customer full of sorrow and remorse because he already ordered.<br />
<br />
<i>Fast Food Fail of the Year - </i>Taco Bell used to have the best app for mobile ordering, but they replaced it with a new app that is absolute garbage that fails you more often than it actually works.<br />
<br />
<i>Not Like Fast Food More Like Diner LTO Burger of the Year - </i>Steak
n Shake came out with a White Truffle Prime Steakburger that included
their "nothing like a Steak n Shake" 6oz patty, Tillamook Swiss,
mushrooms, caramelized onions, and truffle aioli sauce. <i>"Is this Heaven?"</i> "Yes. Yes it is."<br />
<br />
<i>Trendy New Treat of the Year - </i>Cookie dough scoop shops are now a thing. The "dough" doesn't have egg in it and the flour is cooked, so it's safe to eat. But it's still pretty tasty.<br />
<br />
<i>Drive-Thru Mishear of the Year - </i>Me: "2 for $6 Whopper deal..." Burger King Drive-Thru Guy: "26 Whopper Jr's..."<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Grocery Development of the Year - </i>Sprout's Farmer's Market, who brought Tillamook Yogurt to the Midwest for the first time ever a few years ago, added Tillamook Ice Cream to their stores too. I may have cried, even though they don't sell my favorite flavors.<br />
<br />
<i>M&M's of the Year - </i>M&M's debuted three new Crispy flavors...Crunchy Mint, Crunchy Espresso, and Crunchy Raspberry...and had a contest to decide which would be a permanent addition to the M&M's lineup. Mint was the best, and Mint won, which is shocking because it wasn't the coffee-related flavor.<br />
<br />
<i>Ice Cream Flavor of the Year - </i>Braum's came out with a Cookie Monster that was essentially their blue Birthday Cake ice cream, but loaded with chunks of various cookies. I tasted chocolate chip, peanut butter, and snickerdoodle for sure.<br />
<br />
<i>Twitter Feed Winner of the Year - </i>The MoonPie and Wendy's Twitter accounts (who I suspect are run by the same person) got into a ridiculous back-and-forth squishy compliment thing on National Compliment Day. At some point the Regal Cinemas account chimed in with "Still a better love story than Twilight" and won.<br />
<br />
<i>Vegas Acquisition of the Year - </i>Virgin Hotels bought the off-strip Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and the jokes about the "first Virgin in Vegas" were never-ending.<br />
<br />
<i>Grabbing Opportunity of the Year - </i>In the midst of the "idiot teens eating Tide Pods" fad, Hurts Donut started selling a doughnut frosted to look just like a Tide Pod.<br />
<br />
<i>Pickup Line of the Year - </i>Boy are you an indie movie because you are projecting a boldly unresolved narrative onto me - <i>@aparnapkin</i><br />
<br />
<i>Retweet of the Year - </i><br />
<br />
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<i><br />Prediction for 2019 of the Year - </i>When the new job hunt starts, I'm pretty sure any relocation will be entirely based on what I'm craving for lunch that day, and what region is a core market for that chain.<br />
<br />
Finally, one personal aside...Rest in Peace, Dan "Weird_1" Green. Thanks for all the laughs.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-66561450006522931492018-12-22T14:00:00.000-06:002018-12-22T17:02:54.981-06:00Trademarks<b>Place: </b>Burger King<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Hooter, fries, Pibb XTRA, lemon soft serve cone<br />
<br />
I know what you're thinking.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"What's a Hooter?"</i><br />
<br />
"It's a quarter pound cheeseburger," Smiling Counter Guy replies when I ask.<br />
<br />
I know what you're thinking.<br />
<br />
<i>"Wait...what? What's going on here? My Burger King doesn't have that."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<br />
And you'd be right. Because this is NOT a part of the Burger King chain. This is the Burger King in Mattoon, Illinois. This Burger King was operating well before the national chain made its way to this here neck of the prairie. They tried to get the local store to cease and desist their use of the branding and lawsuits ensued, but the local Burger King prevailed and the national Burger King has to live with that. They also can't open a national outlet within 20 miles of this store.<br />
<br />
The name is the end of the similarities. The burgers are grilled, not charbroiled, and more closely resemble Steak n Shake's or Freddy's with their thin, juicy, crispy edge patties. Which made ordering a single-patty Hooter a mistake, as these patties should always be eaten as doubles. So if you happen by, just get a double cheeseburger.<br />
<br />
The fries are hot and fresh and of the lightly coated and seasoned variety. They're delicious.<br />
<br />
There's two order counters, one for the hot food side ("Burger King") and one for ice cream ("Frigid Queen"). You order and pay separately. The highlight item according to the locals is the lemon soft serve cone. So I had one, and...yes. Wow. That's really good.<br />
<br />
The locals treasure this place. It's busier at 2:00pm than any national Burger King I've ever been to at any time of the day.<br />
<br />
This is far from the first trademark conflict with a big name. For years, Waffle House was known in Indiana as Waffle & Steak because there was already a chain of restaurants in the state using the Waffle House name. Still is, actually, but the national Waffle House rebranded under their flagship banner a couple of years ago. Payless Shoe Source is another example. In the Pacific Northwest, where PayLess Drug Stores were once a thing, they were known as Volume Shoe Source.<br />
<br />
For companies that die, it's possible to let a registered trademark lapse and for someone else to jump in and swipe it up. So businesses sometimes play tricks to keep trademarks dead. Hardee's, for example, bought Burger Chef a long time ago. Somebody once wanted to take the trademark and revive the brand, but Hardee's killed the idea by putting Burger Chef's signature burger, the Big Shef, on sale again at Hardee's stores every few years in a couple of old Burger Chef core markets. They included the Burger Chef logo in promotional materials. All specifically designed to keep the brand dead.<br />
<br />
Waffle House actually trademarked the brand of a dead competitor it itself was founded out of and keeps that brand from being revived by using the name on their own menu. Thus the reason you see "Toddle House Omelets" on the Waffle House menu. The ridiculous thing there is I can't find any evidence that Toddle House ever even offered omelets. They were well known for their burgers and chocolate pie.<br />
<br />
Not all this trickery actually works. A few years ago, a guy decided he wanted to revive Naugles, a Mexican chain Del Taco acquired years ago. He sued to get Del Taco to acknowledge abandoning the trademark. Del Taco responded by showing they were in fact still using the logo in their online store where they offered Naugles branded T-shirts. But a judge decided that wasn't enough, and the result is Naugles is open for business at a couple of locations in California with copycat recipes the guy reversed engineered and customers claim are pretty accurate.<br />
<br />
So if there's an old brand out there and nobody's used the trademark in years, maybe you can have it. Hardee's has never pulled any stunts to protect the Sandy's trademarks the way they did with Burger Chef.<br />
<br />
And I know how to make a pretty accurate Big Scot.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-57112338082220890032018-12-07T16:53:00.001-06:002018-12-07T16:54:09.424-06:00O Christmas Tree<b>Place: </b>The Habit Burger Grill<br />
<b>Lunch (well, early dinner technically): </b>Double Char (no tomato), onion rings (w/ranch), strawberry limeade<br />
<br />
The Habit is a fast casual burger chain that dates back to 1969. The idea behind the name is they want you to "make it a habit" to show up and order food.<br />
<br />
Everything's cooked to order and priced in line with the usual suspects. The burger is good, if not a little too intensely charbroiley tasting. Loving the strawberry limeade, which is a flavored drink you can refill...there's no fresh fruit in it. There's at least three other sandwiches I'd like to try on the menu (an Ahi tuna, a tri-tip steak, and a portobello Char), but I'm only in town for a few days and have like 17 places I'd like to eat at while I'm here, so probably not.<br />
<br />
Ford has a commercial running for the Escape...a car-based SUV not really designed for off roading...that suggests that you should give your kid a life lesson by taking them into the woods and finding a random tree to cut down and bring home for the family Christmas tree instead of going to a tree lot. A family adventure.<br />
<br />
This seems ill advised.<br />
<br />
First off, it can be outright illegal or at a minimum require permits. The US Forest Service has some guidelines <a href="https://www.fs.fed.us/visit/know-before-you-go/tree-cutting" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
<br />
Second, make sure you're on public property where this is allowed and what the rules are. You'd feel terrible if you cut down a tree that turned out to be on private property and had the family dog's remains buried under it. Poor Fluffy. And poor you when the family's attorney gets involved and it turns out they had security cameras and you're suddenly a YouTube star for all the wrong reasons.<br />
<br />
Third, know the conditions. Saws can spark. Dry climates can catch fire. And as the people of Paradise, California will attest, fires can burn whole towns down. Even the local Jack in the Box. Nobody wants to lose their local Jack in the Box. I mean, all those wasted tacos.<br />
<br />
Fourth, there's safer places to do this. Find a cut-your-own Christmas tree farm. Find your perfect tree, saw it, properly secure it to your vehicle, and pay the attendant. Off you go. i have a memory of doing this as a child. Dad found the perfect tree at the bottom of a steep snow covered hill and intended to drive our '61 Transporter (the VW pickup version of the Type 2/Bus) down there and get it, but the lot owner wouldn't let him. "There's no way that thing will make it back up the hill."<br />
<br />
"Yes it will," my father flatly replied.<br />
<br />
They argued until Dad wore him down by accepting responsibility if he got stuck. He drove down the hill, cut the tree, loaded it in the back, and drove straight back up the hill, where the guy, arms folded, watched with surprise. "Damn. I need to get me one of those," he said.<br />
<br />
But whatever adventure you have, it will never top the ones we had when we moved to Alaska.<br />
<br />
Dad's boss had a 50-foot yacht. Every year, he'd take us and other friends out to some random uninhabited island to find the perfect "free" Christmas trees. Because who would pay for a tree while living in the middle of a national forest. We'd anchor off shore, take the skiff in, wander inward to find our perfect trees, cut them down, drag them back to the skiff, tie them to the back, haul them through the salt water, and put them on the back of the boat. Scrapes, bruises, colds, and once a broken leg ensued. But hey...we had our "free" trees. Not counting the untold hundreds spent on fuel and food and supplies and what not. A point Dad never missed pointing out, but nobody cared.<br />
<br />
It was, after all, really about the adventure.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-88713414902618827242018-11-23T12:00:00.000-06:002018-11-23T12:12:37.553-06:00The Milepost<b>Place: </b>Cook-Out<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Cook-Out Tray (Cheddar-style burger (add pickles & ketchup), onion rings, Chicken quesadilla), Cook-Out-style hot dog (no slaw), Cheerwine (hellz yeah!)<br />
<br />
Everything you need to know to understand Cook-Out is in their dining room tables.<br />
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Cook-Out is a Southern chain that focuses on grilled foods as if they were made on an outside barbecue. They serve burgers from fresh never frozen beef, chicken, hot dogs, BBQ pork, and, for some reason, quesadillas. And 40 flavors of milkshakes, which I assume are NOT grilled.<br />
<br />
Their version of a combo meal is a "Cook-Out Tray", which gets you a main menu item, TWO sides, and a drink. The drink options at all 200+ stores includes Cheerwine, which would have been enough alone to draw me in. The food is served unapologetically in a styrofoam clamshell with the burgers and quesadilla wrapped in foil. And Cook-out is cheap...this whole lunch, including the Cook-Out style hot dog I added beyond the tray, was less than $9 even with tax.<br />
<br />
The Cheddar-style burger has bacon, onions, and cheddar sauce. The bacon is thick, crunchy, and flavorful. The patty tastes legit home grilled. The onions seem grilled too but not enough that they're soggy. It isn't pretty. It isn't premium looking. It's an unapologetic total in-your-face "screw you, i'm a burger, and I'm awesome" kind of burger. And it is.<br />
<br />
"Cook-Out Style" means chili, onions, and slaw, and that's what's on this dog (minus the slaw). It also has a deli mustard. Perfectly decent chili dog. You can get the burger "Cook-Out Style" too.<br />
<br />
The onion rings are good. Nothing remarkable.<br />
<br />
But the big surprise for me is the quesadilla. It's really great. Similar to Taco Bueno's. Smaller, but just as good. A single is an option as a side in the Cook-Out Tray. If you order it as a main entree, they give you two of them.<br />
<br />
Tradition for years has been to spend Thanksgiving weekend and the week after in Salt Lake City. It's my biggest vacation of the year. But it's not happening this year because next week is my last week of gainful employment. Seemed silly to not show up. So I'm on a four-day road trip to eat a couple of chili dogs I haven't had before. Because chili dogs are synonymous with Thanksgiving.<br />
<br />
Last week, I started going through papers and personal effects at my desk and ran into a folder full of stuff from years gone by. Inside were a pile of old state road maps...the kind you used to get for free at rest areas...and a sheet I used to have on the wall of my office (back when I actually had a physical office in our nice building before we moved into the unremarkable dump we're in now where I have a desk in a cattle pen) called The Milepost.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Yep. My favorite restaurants and the distance to their closest locations at the time. This has to be at least ten years old, as a lot of this is inaccurate now. Some have closer locations (one even in town now). Some are now further away. One entry isn't even in business at all anymore.<br />
<br />
In 1978, my family packed into the late 60's VW Bus my dad had converted into a camper (a very convincing replica of an official VW camper) and took our last vacation together. A 90-mile ferry ride and 3,700 road miles later, we arrived in his hometown. After a week of fun and mayhem with all the aunts and uncles and cousins, we headed back west to my hometown to see my mother's family before heading back up to catch the ferry back. I was 12. I wouldn't see the Midwest family again until I was an adult.<br />
<br />
Being a pop culture fanatic on a remote island with no road access out (let alone being under driving age) made for a depressing childhood, particularly in the pre internet and social media days. I was as alone as it got in the world. So I often killed the hours by going down to my father's work after school, locking myself in the camper, and pouring over the old road maps, travel guides and brochures I collected on that trip. Wishing I were anywhere but there. In class, I used to draw depictions of interstate exits on the header of school assignment papers from the vantage point of approaching from the highway with big glorious signs of the era for everything from McDonald's to Stuckey's to the Holiday Inn Great Signs and the flashing crowns of Best Westerns popping up on the horizon. The artwork was probably better than the school work turned in because paying attention in class is boring. I drew hundreds of these.<br />
<br />
My first great road trip of my own was at the age of 20 when I moved to the Midwest. With the promise of a job awaiting, I packed all my personal belongings into my '75 VW Dasher Wagon and headed east. Stayed in no-name motels with $19 rooms. Subsided on McDonald's and 7-Eleven roller grills. Broke down once (an issue solved with duct tape), and had all the car lights quit working (solved with fuse box fidgeting in cold howling winds in the dark at a Husky Travel Center. Said fuse box, of course, was in the engine compartment, not inside the vehicle like most cars).<br />
<br />
I loved every minute of it. I was finally out there. I was finally free.<br />
<br />
Being out there became a way of life for me. When the wanderlust hit and I craved some food from a distant land, I didn't go digging for a travel guide, I just went there. At my high point, I was putting in excess of 50,000 miles on my cars annually. It's sort of an obsession. One of my greatest regrets in life is that I never got to experience Pup 'n' Taco. That would have been my dream restaurant Tacos and chili dogs in a 70's style wood panel dining room. Doing my best to not make that mistake again.<br />
<br />
And that's how I ended up at Cook-Out. First heard of them a few months ago. People raving about their food. So here I am, having driven hundreds of miles to eat another burger, eat another chili dog. I'll be doing the same thing tomorrow at G.D.Ritzy's, a nearly extinct chain I hear really shouldn't be. And don't think I didn't take advantage of the Krystal down the street too. It's been years since I've been near one of those.<br />
<br />
My search for new work starts in January. I'm taking December off.<br />
<br />
Haven't made any specific plans, but I'll be out there.<br />
<br />
Not sure where, but I'll be out there.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-2185298713715814932018-11-19T11:30:00.000-06:002018-11-19T14:32:32.239-06:00The Last Straw<b>Place: </b>McDonald's<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>McRib, fries, Coke<br />
<br />
Remember that time I told you about the <a href="https://tesg.blogspot.com/2017/05/orange-drink.html" target="_blank">area's ugliest McDonald's</a>? That's this one. But it's getting an exterior remodel and will look like any modern McDonald's when finished. The interior, which has the recent brown-brown-beige-brown-off brown-brown-brown-brown interior, apparently will remain...brown.<br />
<br />
America is at war.<br />
<br />
War with the plastic straw.<br />
<br />
Not all of America, of course. It's the latest environmental fad. Because we don't need straws. You can just drink from the cup. We're filling the oceans with waste straws and it's KILLING EVERYTHING YOU FAT SELFISH CAPITALIST BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
We're not, really. According to <a href="https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/07/news-plastic-drinking-straw-history-ban/" target="_blank">National Geographic</a>, eight million tons of plastic flow into the ocean every year. Straws comprise just 0.025 percent of that. But it's said this is the first step in trying to eliminate single-use plastics. And yet it's the one single-use plastic I can think of in the restaurant industry that will anger more customers than anything else. Not that this matters to the radical environmentalists, who found a bandwagon people will actually jump on, so who cares about common sense. They've even gotten some municipalities to go as far as to ban plastic straws.<br />
<br />
There are better ways to reduce. I for one have stopped using cup lids when dining in. If I refill the drink for the road, I just fill it a little less. It rides in my cupholder just fine. But sipping said cup while in motion from the rim? No. A straw is far safer. You're not obscuring your view from the road with your cup.<br />
<br />
And about those cups...why do they need to be plastic? We did just fine with wax cups for years. Why not go back to those? You can't even throw them in the recycle bin, at least at my home.<br />
<br />
But leave my freaking straw alone.<br />
<br />
The best straws are those found at McDonald's and at Whataburger. Very solid quality straws. Just the right width. From what I can tell, they're physically identical, only differentiated by stripe color (red and yellow at McD's, orange at Whataburger.) I sometimes grab a few extra so I can have spares in the car in case I end up with a milkshake from a place with inferior straws.<br />
<br />
There's also reusable straws, I have a few made of aluminum that were branded and sold at convenience stores. Use it, rinse it out, stick it in your purse or up your butt, pull it out at the next restaurant.<br />
<br />
Think drinking from a straw that was up your butt will make your drink taste like ass? Try a paper straw, which is being offered as an alternative. That's even worse.<br />
<br />
Until common sense prevails, if any McDonald's or Whataburger store is finding themselves in need of getting rid of their straw supply, I'll happily take a box off your hands.<br />
<br />
Look at what you've done, America. You've created a straw hoarder.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-20868413422744116052018-11-11T11:00:00.000-06:002018-11-11T17:30:11.688-06:00Not So Bueno<b><br /></b>
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<b><br /></b>
<b>Place: </b>Taco Mayo<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Crispy beef taco, 3-cheese chicken quesadilla melt, refried beans, ice water<br />
<br />
I haven't had Taco Mayo in forever. I thought the entire chain had folded. Every location I'd ever been to had closed. But the other day I thought to look them up online and found they're still out there, albeit only half the chain they used to be with around 50 locations left, most of which would require me to go out of my way to get to one. They used to number around 100. They used the classic "concentrate on quality over quantity" excuse on all the store closures. The support group for management of such chains living with that denial meet Tuesdays in the carcass of the local abandoned Sears.<br />
<br />
The mostly Oklahoma Taco Mayo is your typical fast food cheap eats Mexican place with tacos that barely have any meat in them (though the guy who made this one was unusually generous), burritos, nachos, and that traditional Mexican dish known as tater tots. re branded to give them that south of the border stereotype (Mexi Fries, Potato Ole's, or in this case, Potato Locos). Taco Mayo is also now apparently trying to be Chipotle with a "Fresh Mex" menu where you go down the line and dictate how your burrito is made with ingredients outside the typical Taco Mayo line. Yeah...not bothering with that. The classics are perfectly decent. Though even the classics are now made on said line.<br />
<br />
The thing that triggered my memory of Taco Mayo was another surprise in the fast food taco world...Taco Bueno filed for bankruptcy this week.<br />
<br />
172 unit Taco Bueno has been my favorite of the fast food taco chains the past couple of years. The chain was founded by Bill Waugh, the guy who also brought us the legendary Casa Bonita. Taco Bueno was owned by CKE, the parent company of Hardee's and Carl's Jr, when I first tried them out CKE was in the process of revitalizing the brand with a new logo and some really out there new building designs and remodels, something the media and customers liked to compare to something out of The Jetson's. CKE eventually had to sell Bueno off to reduce debt and focus its sights on the disaster that was Hardee's. Taco Bueno was flipped through a number of capital investment firms., all of whom have toned down the hipness CKE broought to the table.<br />
<br />
Taco Bueno attempted expansion in a number of Midwest markets outside their comfort zone in the early 2000's that mostly crashed and burned. There were five in Omaha and Lincoln for awhile, there's none now. There were six in Wichita, there's one left. There were five in Colorado Springs, those are all gone. There were once as many as eight in Kansas City, there's three left. And so on.<br />
<br />
The official <a href="https://restructuring.tacobueno.com/" target="_blank">restructuring plan</a> involves a scheme were a real restaurant company who operates a bunch of franchises of known national outlets (none of which are Taco Bueno) bought their debt, is loaning them some operating cash, and will ultimately swap the debt for the equity.<br />
<br />
Yay?<br />
<br />
We'll see, I guess. They say there will be no store closures...Taco Bueno closed 16 locations just recently in advance of this...but you can bet that'll change once the new company takes over. I'm sure they'll get rid of nearly everything corporate run outside of Texas and Oklahoma.<br />
<br />
If you ask fans of the brand (known as Buenoheads) where everything went wrong, they'll point directly at the queso. Taco Bueno changed their queso recipe recently and those who hate it REALLY REALLY hate it. (I for one like it just fine, but if they reverted to the old stuff, it wouldn't bother me either.)<br />
<br />
Taco Bueno brags of having real cooks in real kitchens who prepare everything fresh daily. Sounds Chipotle-like, but it's Taco Bell quality food. There's your usual tacos and burritos, "Muchacos" (think Gordita), nachos, and quesadillas. There are full dinner platter variations where rice and beans are included. And there are value items mostly smaller versions of the mainline items usually labeled "party size". Each location has a salsa bar to spike your food with.<br />
<br />
I have current and past Bueno favorites. Their Mucho Nachos are my favorite nachos. Where some chains have gone fancy with theirs, Taco Bueno sticks with the classic chips, nacho cheese, beef, beans, sour cream, chili sauce, and tomatoes. I love Bueno's chili sauce. It's actually more like chili than red enchilada sauce. The Big Freaking Taco is another favorite of mine. It's kind of my replacement for Del Taco's long gone Ultimate Taco, which may have been the most perfect taco ever made. Bueno also makes my favorite chicken quesadilla. The creamy zesty sauce they use really makes it.<br />
<br />
Past menu items start with their chicken tortilla soup, my second favorite behind Qdoba's. It was a regular menu item, then became a seasonal item for a couple of years, then they just quit making it. That's their most missed menu item based on comments on their Facebook page. They also used to do a really good chili pie, basically a bowl of Fritos topped in taco meat and chili sauce. So simple, yet so amazing.<br />
<br />
So here's hoping I get to keep a little Bueno in my life. It sounds like I will, but I might have to drive further to get to one.<br />
<br />
I should just move to Texas or Oklahoma.<br />
<br />
So many good tacos.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-31242958448841366972018-10-24T12:00:00.000-05:002018-10-24T12:45:20.812-05:00Voyage<b>Place: </b>Pita Pit<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Bacon Cheeseburger Pita (no lettuce, no tomato), chicken Quesapita, Pibb XTRA<br />
<br />
We had six Pita Pits locally to start with but there's only two left so I figured I'd better try one before they were completely gone as if I'm actually obligated to or something.<br />
<br />
I enter and head for the sign that says "ORDER HEALTHY HERE". Please. None of this crap is healthy. You're getting overglorified Subway with potato chips and high fructose corn syrup soda.<br />
<br />
Worried Counter Girl looks worried. Probably because I'm the scariest and ugliest person she's ever seen.<br />
<br />
Me: "Bacon cheeseburger pita..."<br />
<br />
Worried Counter Girl: "Do you want that in a combo with chips and a drink?"<br />
<br />
Me: "I'll take a drink, but I want to try the chicken Quesapita thingy."<br />
<br />
She spends a ridiculous amount of time entering crap into the register. $15 and change. No wonder everybody refers to this as "the place to overpay for pitas.":<br />
<br />
Me, pointing to reader next to register: "Is this for Apple Pay?"<br />
<br />
Worried Counter Girl: "We use a points system now."<br />
<br />
Me: *stares*<br />
<br />
Worried Counter Girl: *looks worried*<br />
<br />
Me: *hands credit card*<br />
<br />
Much to my surprise, steak and chicken is tossed onto a real grill. She sets up two pita breads, which essentially is a flour tortilla with a kangaroo pocket. Ingredients are placed in the pockets. The bacon cheeseburger is then rolled like a burrito while the Quesapita goes to the grill. Nice. Takes way too long to make, though, so consider ordering ahead on the app or the website.<br />
<br />
Both items are delicious. The Quesapita is listed as a side, but it's really a meal in itself. Could use a sauce. Might ask for one next time if I make it back before this location closes too.<br />
<br />
Remember a few years back when some rich guy was going to build a replica of Titanic for cruising? Yeah. Apparently, that plan is back on track. Titanic II will have modern engines and propulsion and enough actual lifeboats for all 2,400 passengers (and yes, iceberg detecting stuff), but otherwise they want to give you as close to the original experience as possible.<br />
<br />
This somehow seems ill-advised.<br />
<br />
I imagine there's a bunch of Titanic fanatics (Tifanics?) excited by this. And I would love to tour the finished ship and maybe even take a ride for a few hours. But not much longer than that. What they're planning is regular voyages that are much, much longer. Transatlantic voyages that follow the original ill-fated path, and elsewhere.<br />
<br />
Modern cruising happens on big floating resorts with a dozen or more decks full of restaurants and activities. Multiple pools, some even with waterslides. Multiple restaurants and bars. Clubs., Activities. Theatres. Shows. You typically spend five days practically smothered with activities and food and near daily stops at ports with an abundance of tourist traps and touristy things to do.<br />
<br />
Titanic was built in an era when ships of its kind were the primary source of transcontinental travel. You didn't fly to Europe, you sailed there. Unless you were elite rich, you probably sailed in a shared little four-birth cabin that didn't even have its own bathroom. Given they still plan to shoehorn 2,400 people on this ship, I don't see how this design is any roomier. A Princess Cruises Coral Class ship of similar size (well, slightly longer, wider, and way taller with 12 passenger decks) has a capacity of 1.970 passengers.<br />
<br />
So who really wants to cruise under those conditions on a voyage that doesn't see a port call for days on end? How long can you stare at the open sea and its vast nothingness?<br />
<br />
Bring snacks. And lots of books. And your tablet, pre-loaded with books and movies (even most modern ships don't offer shipwide wifi, you have to go to ship Internet areas and pay a premium to connect), and hope they build charging ports into the new ship. And noise-cancelling headphones so you can ignore your bunk mates.<br />
<br />
On the bright side, maybe if the new ship hits an iceberg and sinks, you can write it off as a cruise activity.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-754200641601232402018-10-03T12:00:00.000-05:002018-10-03T12:30:42.813-05:00Service with the Speed of App<b>Place: </b>Sonic Drive-In<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Quarter pound double cheeseburger, chili cheese coney (add mustard), Philly cheesesteak (add pickles), Rte 44 strawberry slush<br />
<br />
Sonic has a sordid history here. They built one and had to hire off-duty cops to handle the massive amount of traffic it drew. The franchisee quickly put up five more (because it takes like 20 minutes to assemble one out of a kit you order from Sears) around the metro. A couple of years later, we were down to two of the six and a different franchisee out of Missouri was running those. It's been like that for at least ten years now. That first store was demolished and replaced by a Hardee's.<br />
<br />
The last time I had lunch at one, it took way longer to order than it should have because the girl on the other end doesn't listen and puts in the wrong food (this happens all the freaking time) and it was close to half an hour before the food finally arrived. Since it takes fifteen minutes to drive here from the office, that makes work lunch impossible. Sonic's original slogan was "Service at the Speed of Sound." But this store has always been Service at the Speed of Slug. Until now. Now, you can order through Sonic's app and the food should (in theory) be ready when you get there.<br />
<br />
Folks, I can't even begin to describe how the idea that I never have to talk to a Sonic order taker ever again excites me.<br />
<br />
The app menu is straightforward and logical. You can customize stuff to a degree. Sonic has a reputation of being willing to make literally anything you can dream up with the available ingredients on hand, but this app isn't that flexible. I can add pickles to my cheesesteak and mustard to my chili dog, but I can't make the item I used to have them make every time I stopped for breakfast back when there was a Sonic on my work route...the amazing and wonderful chili breakfast toaster. Chili, egg, and cheese on Texas toast. This is never a bad idea.<br />
<br />
I build my order and set the arrival time for 11:15am. Then it comes to paying. Here's where it all goes wrong. You can't just pay with your credit card or with Apple Pay, you have to purchase a virtual gift card in specific increments. So I'm going to have to pay $15 for my $10.50 order. Yes, you'll still have that $4.50 for a future order, but you know you're eventually going to die with a languishing amount on the card. That's just stupid. If you can buy the gift card through the app, you should be able to just pay for your food through the app. There's no excuse for this.<br />
<br />
You also can't set a tip for the carhop. So you're either stiffing the carhop, or you'll need to keep a couple singles in your wallet anyway.<br />
<br />
Once I buy the gift card and reorder the food (because the shopping cart expired in the time it took to buy the gift card), I head to Sonic. I arrive and check in at 11:10. Check-in requires you pull in a stall and enter the stall number in the app to let them know where you are (the number is on the driver-'s side pole that holds the menu screen. It's also displayed in the left corner of the screen itself.) There's no option to use the drive-thru.<br />
<br />
A black bar shows up on the bottom of the screen with my name on it. It's showing the order process. Eventually, the screen says "JUSTIN is about to arrive with your food!" Which he does. Food arrives at 11:22. It's late, but still plenty of time to eat. Everything is hot and delicious.<br />
<br />
So will the app make me want to Sonic more often? Yes. It absolutely will.<br />
<br />
But it would help if they built one closer to the office.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-17884590870072153842018-09-21T13:12:00.000-05:002018-09-21T13:21:13.431-05:00Obstacle Course<b>Place: </b>Burger King (at the office)<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Whopper (no lettuce, no tomato), Chicken Fries, water<br />
<br />
Today has been nothing short of a living obstacle course.<br />
<br />
First, I get to work and my laptop won't open a program. Turns out it's gone missing. IT Guy takes a look and is baffled. "The program folder is just...empty." A half hour later and it's sort of reinstalled and I can sort of launch it if I do this one juryrig. "Is that okay?" IT Guy asks. "Yeah."<br />
<br />
Then I go to lunch. Or try to. There's a semi with a "WIDE LOAD" sign blocking the entrance. I drive down the complex to an alternate entrance. Some woman is blocking that entrance in her car. She's just sitting there, doing nothing but blocking my way out. I honk the horn. She looks at me. I make "get out of the way you worthless idiot" hand gestures. She finally does.<br />
<br />
I go to the Burger King drive-thru. "Whopper, no lettuce, no tomato, and chicken fries with ranch."<br />
<br />
Speaker Girl: "Do you want any sauce for the chicken fries?"<br />
<br />
I hit the bank ATM. Somebody is already there doing so many transactions that they've put their van in park and shut off the motor. Good grief.<br />
<br />
After finally getting access to the ATM, I head back to the office. I pull lunch out of the bag. Guess what? No ranch.<br />
<br />
My shiny blingy new phone arrives. I go to set it up. This turns into a ridiculously long process, the highlight of which is when I plug it into my computer to resture the backup of my old phone and the machine pops up an error that reads "This phone is not authorized to be used on this computer."<br />
<br />
WHAT???<br />
<br />
Some online research suggests I install the latest OS update to my computer. Twenty minutes of downloading later, it starts to update. Then it reboots. Then it updates some more. Then it reboots. Then it updates some more. Then it makes this really long beep noise and goes dead. And I just stare.<br />
<br />
Then it revives.<br />
<br />
Then it says "Computing the installation. About 43 minutes remaining."<br />
<br />
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME.<br />
<br />
So basically I'm writing this post on my work computer as a way to kill time (and vent) while the damn thing finishes updating.<br />
<br />
About 14 minutes remaining.<br />
<br />
I can't wait to see how long the restoral takes.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-39797978143555297302018-09-18T12:00:00.000-05:002018-09-18T12:01:59.922-05:00Poor Planning<b>Place: </b>Taco John's<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>3 hard shells, Potato Ole's, Pepsi<br />
<br />
I walked out of the office and a big single drop of rain splatted on my sorry bald head. I got out of the car at Taco John's and three drops of rain hit me. By the time I finished ordering, there was a freaking monsoon going on outside. Jeepers.<br />
<br />
Who's bright idea was it to schedule National Cheeseburger Day on Taco Tuesday? Jerk. I hope you get fired.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'll make a cheeseburger for dinner. A cheeseburger and potato salad would be nice. I have become so fond of the creamy dill and bacon potato salad at Slim Chickens that I sought out a recipe for such a beast online and made it over the weekend. And it's fabulous. But I still have a few bowls worth to eat before it spoils because it yielded at least a half dozen servings despite the fact I halved the recipe.<br />
<br />
I did have a notable cheeseburger recently. We got a Wahlburgers locally, and their "Our Burger" was surprisingly impressive. The patty, "a proprietary blend of brisket, short rib, & chuck" according to the menu, was perfectly seasoned and had a texture more similar to steak than ground beef. All of the flavors between the buns popped, especially the pickles. To have a standout cheeseburger in a world saturated with cheeseburgers is really something, and this one totally did it for me.<br />
<br />
Their "thick & crispy onion rings" were also impressive. Their chili and lemonade, not so much. Chili tastes very homemade, but just isn't a standout. Lemonade was too tart for me.<br />
<br />
I need to check out the O.F.D. burger next time. It's a bacon mushroom Swiss.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'll do that for dinner.<br />
<br />
Nah. Still have that potato salad to get through.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17939328.post-80057726404873269082018-08-12T11:00:00.000-05:002018-08-13T14:41:05.225-05:00ScreenX<b>Place: </b>Slim Chickens<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>Buffalo wings (w/ranch dipping sauce), potato salad, toast, lemonade<br />
<br />
Slim Chickens is by far my favorite of the chicken finger chains (places like Raising Cane's and Zaxby's). It has nothing to do with the fact they have the coolest name in all of fast food, nor that they have the creepiest logo...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEfqMkwRbD9U3jDLNHpienCOX5rvD8iFoST27lwRDDkFpGuvfENOPph7LIcXI9xwENe0nHSRiqGiq0DiCWC8NkzvaUJmixqjQ06b9syW5pEk1T5h2TP19F2TlwaeCcf9hTxlTBgg/s1600/slim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1435" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEfqMkwRbD9U3jDLNHpienCOX5rvD8iFoST27lwRDDkFpGuvfENOPph7LIcXI9xwENe0nHSRiqGiq0DiCWC8NkzvaUJmixqjQ06b9syW5pEk1T5h2TP19F2TlwaeCcf9hTxlTBgg/s320/slim.jpg" width="286" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Eat me, bitches</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It also has nothing to do with the chicken fingers, which between the finger chains are nearly indistinguishable. Even Slim Chickens' "Slim Sauce" is a copycat of Cane's signature sauce.<br />
<br />
The reason I love Slim's is their wings. There's 11 sauce options to have them cooked in and they're all great (my favorite is Korean BBQ) and 17 dipping sauce options to go with them. You can even have your tenders tossed in the wing sauces for more flavor, though they’ll be wet. I’m not a big tenders fan, but I’ll do the sauced tenders here anytime. At least when I'm not in the mood for wings. (HINT: I am never not in the mood for wings.)<br />
<br />
The second reason is their abundance of sides, including a macaroni and cheese that's actually edible and a potato salad that tastes of dill and bacon. It is one of my all-time favorite potato salads.<br />
<br />
Then there's the dessert jars. Real glass Mason jars full of yummy. The year-round one has a mix of brownie, pudding, whipped cream, and Heath bar pieces. It's just incredible. The seasonal Strawberry Cheesecake one is also amazing. Plus you get to keep the jar.<br />
<br />
And don’t pass up the lemonade. Not too tart or too sweet. Pretty smooth lemonade.<br />
<br />
They have a chicken sandwich on the menu too, but it's not your mom's beloved Chick-Fil-A. It has a cayenne seasoning and is dressed with cayenne ranch sauce, plus pickles, lettuce, and onion strings. It's nasty in the best possible way.<br />
<br />
There's also wraps and optional grilled strips. Plan on about a half dozen lunches there to really wrap your brain around the whole thing. And even then you won't have gotten through all the options, but you'll be hooked so it won't matter.<br />
<br />
The Slim's I'm having lunch at is in a new shopping development I now stay at a lot, right next door to my hotel. Also within walking distance is a shiny new multiplex with a large format auditorium called "ScreenX". And last night, I watched my first ScreenX feature, The Meg.<br />
<br />
A ScreenX auditorium looks pretty normal when you walk in and get seated in your luxury leather recliner with butt warmer. It looks pretty normal when the movie starts. The technology isn't used throughout the feature...it's scene-specific. But when it kicks on the first time, there's a 'wow' factor.<br />
<br />
What happens is suddenly the image widens down the auditorium side walls. The ENTIRE SIDE WALLS all the way to the back of the auditorium. The trick is achieved using a network of projectors corner mounted at the top of the wall. They're not stretching, it's expanded footage. It was used a lot for the underwater action scenes in The Meg. Trippy, man. I tend to sit close to the screen...third or fourth row...but in this situation, sitting further back might be more rewarding.<br />
<br />
I think it's kind of gimmicky, and it's far from perfect. There are black lines down the corners of the front of the room. The surround speakers poke out of the image like aircraft windows. And the side wall image quality isn't always up to snuff with the main front image. Plus those side images aren't meant to be seen by the human eye jutting around a corner.<br />
<br />
So...interesting, but not really revolutionary. Maybe one day we'll have globe-shaped auditoriums where the image can be all the way around and above us, so you really feel like you're looking around at a universe.<br />
<br />
There are few ScreenX auditoriums in the US currently and few movies that support the technology. But if the opportunity arises, check it out. You're not going to want to pay the premium ticket price for every movie this way, but for the occasional big dumb blockbuster, maybe give it a whirl.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com