Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Mutant

Place: Hardee's
Lunch: 1/3 lb Most American Thickburger, chicken tenders (w/ranch), orange cream shake

Hardee's and Carl's Jr posted a really tacky teaser image a couple of weeks ago featuring lips painted blue around the upper (with stars) and red and white around the lower, with the lower red and white dripping.  A tongue was sticking out licking the upper lip.

The teaser turned out to be for the "Most American Thickburger", a standard Hardee's 1/3 lb Thickburger with the addition of a split hot dog and kettle chips.  And no mayo.  They skipped the mayo, making me wonder what the dripping white from the lips is supposed to represent.

Who doesn't like hamburgers?  Who doesn't like hot dogs?  Who doesn't like potato chips?  But does that mean mutating them into a single menu item is a good idea?  For example, I like baked potatoes, but I don't like mashed potatoes.  My grandmother used to argue that they're the same thing, just mashed up.  I would argue back that her mashed potatoes had milk in them to make the potatoes creamier, and that completely changed the flavor profile into something gross.  This argument always, without fail, ended with her rolling her eyes.

(For the record, I was probably not using the phrase "flavor profile" back then, at the age of six.)

When the sandwich was revealed on the Hardee's and Carl's Jr Facebook feeds, I posed a question..."Wouldn't it make more sense to put a hot dog on the chili cheeseburger?"  Think about it, a chili dog cheeseburger.

I know, right?

Nobody cared on the Hardee's page, but the Carl's Jr faithful were TOTALLY behind this.  I got more likes and comments than pretty much anything I've ever posted on my Facebook page.  People want that burger.

Of course, Hardee's hasn't offered a chili cheeseburger in years, and Carl's Jr apparently discontinued theirs, so I guess it's up to you, Wienerschnitzel.

So how is the "Most American"?  It's not very good.  I removed the chips about two bites in and finished maybe half the thing.  The split hot dog doesn't even cover the patty...a good third of it has no hot dog on it.  It just made me wish I had a pastrami burger.

The chicken tenders were great, though.

And the orange cream shake was a total bonus.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Dave

Place: Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen
Lunch: Three blackened (formerly known as "naked") tenders (w/ranch), one spicy thigh, Fanta Lime Rickey (1/4 Fanta Lime, 3/4 Fanta Grape from the Coke Freestyle thingy)

Smiling Counter Guy, a manager, rings up my order on their cash register (which is literally an iPad), and it's quite a bit cheaper than normal.  "I gave you the pop," he said.  No particular reason.  He just did.

"No complaint from me," I said.  He laughed.

Didn't make me any less grumpy, and I am grumpy.  It's rainy and 50 today.  Again.  It's like I live in the Pacific Northwest again.  I shouldn't have to be grumpy about this kind of weather in the Midwest.  I should be grumpy that it's too hot and humid.  It's not fair, Mother Nature.  Or global warming.  Or climate change.  Or whatever the hippies are calling it these days.

I'm probably actually grumpy that tonight is Letterman's last show.  The last of the great broadcast talk show hosts.  End of an era.

It's true that David Letterman hasn't exactly been relevant for years, but I'd still watch him before I'd watch Fallon, Kimmel, Meyers, or the dreadful Corden (any bets on when they just let Reggie Watts take that show over?) .  This Fall, Stephen Colbert takes over for Letterman, leaving Jimmy Kimmel of all people the elder of late night broadcast talk.

(Sorry, Conan.  I don't have cable.)

So why am I bummed about Dave leaving?  I don't know.  He does have some great interviews on occasion in between the ones I find so painful that I flip to Perry Mason reruns...those interviews where he comes off as a senile old man berating celebrities for advice on raising his son, and when his show comes off as a blatant political infomercial.  Still, I like his laid-back style, and he does have the ability to pull a joke out of the air.  He does have some great musical guests.  There's been more than one occasion that I've gotten on my computer and ordered music from a guest artist before they've even finished their song on his show.  Esperanza Spalding and St Vincent are two such examples.

Maybe it's because he's the last tie to Carson in the business, and I still miss Carson.

Not that many people take the time to watch the full shows anymore anyway.  Apparently the kids just stream the highlights on their phones.  Five minutes of an hour show and on to the next viral video sensation.

Yay for them, I guess.

But my generation's era of late night talk shows is done.