Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Would You Like Something You Can't Have With That?

Place: Taco Bueno
Lunch: Big Freaking Taco (no romato), Mucho Nachos (no tomato), Coke

Nobody makes better fast food nachos than Taco Bueno.  A big plate of beef, beans, chili sauce, nacho cheese, and sour cream.  And tomatoes if you want them.  None of that nonsense like avacados, guac, pico, whole black beans.  None of it.  Go to a fancy bar if you want that crap.  Wife #1 agreed...they were her favorite too.

One thing that is surprisingly consistent with this particular Taco Bueno is the number of times I hear customers ordering things that are no longer on the menu.  Sometimes for years.  But it seems to happen every time I'm here.  But something happened to me today that's never heappened here or anywhere else that I can recall...the counter guy actually offered me a menu item they didn't have, and couldn't produce.

Me: "Big Freaking Taco, no tomato..."

Counter Guy: "Beef, chicken, or steak?"


I had NO idea this was an option.

"Beef," I say.  BUT...I'll take a steak one too."

I mean, why not try it, right?

 "No tomato on that one too?"


I finish ordering and get my drink, salsa, and what not.  I catch up on Twitter while waiting what seems like forever for my food because this location is slow at doing anything even on a slow day, and they're busy today.

I get my food, unwrap the first taco (happens to be the beef one) and chow down.  It's quite awhile later when I grab the steak one.

But it's immediately apparant this isn't going to be what it's supposed to be.  It's limp, like a soft taco.  It's a Muchaco, Taco Bueno's version of a Chalupa.  (It may actually pre-date the Chalupa.)  Also, it has chicken in it.

I take it back to the counter.  A girl from the back appears.

Me: "This is supposed to be a steak Big Freaking Taco, but it's a chicken Muchaco."

"We don';t have steak," she says flatly.  "Do you want something else?"

"Then why is the cashier offering it up as an option?:"

She just shrugs.

I'm so dumbfounded, I just turn and go back to my table and finish my nachos.  She eventually comes around to my table and mutters "Here's a refund" and drops money.

The receipt she printed for the refund shows exactly what i ordered...a steak Big Freaking Taco.  But if they don't have steak, why is this even an option in the register?  There's nothing on the menu that includes steak, thus my surprise when the guy offered it up.

And what food maker looks at the screen, sees a crispy taco with steak in it, and thinks "I'll just give him a completely different menu item with a completely different meat instead"?


Took a five-day weekend to go to an out-of-town concert last night, where I proved that, stamina-wise, I'm still a long way from being me again.

Not that I'll ever be me again.

Thursday, May 04, 2017

Danged Chickens

Place: Burger King
Lunch: Crispy Chicken with bacon and cheese, onion rings, soda water

BK has a new chicken sandwich probably designed to try and grab some market share from the massive following that Chick-Fil-A has.  While a vast improvement on the oblong inferior Chicken Tendercrisp (which is still available), this isn't going to do it.

I've had three of these since they launched.  The first was cooked to order and was wonderful.  The other two, one of which was the cheddar-bacon-ranch variety, weren't because the chicken and bacon had that "pre-cooked and sitting in a warming bin for way too long" taste to them.  The cheese was cold, had no melt to it at all.  Bleh.

But even the cooked-to-order one wasn't quite on the level of Chick-Fil-A.

Also upping its chicken sandwich game is KFC.  They have a new "Zinger" chicken sandwich.  That one's way tastier.  The chicken has an extra crispy coating and a really great spicy seasoning.  They should rightly sell a bajillion of them but probably won't because Chick-Fil-A is so good at what they do, their fans have no reason to even think of going elsewhere.  Also, while it's great, it feels like a completely different product.

In other chicken news, I may get to try Slim Chickens this weekend.  That's one of those chicken tender chains.  They opened their first Wichita store this week.

Wait...isn't it National Burger Month?

Danged chickens.