Friday, September 29, 2006

Most. Wonderful. Time.

Place: Subway-in-a-Wal-Mart
Lunch: Six-inch toasted double-meat Pastrami on white with provalone, Chipotle Southwest sauce and pickles, Lays potato chips, Coke

Guy Behind Counter is gleefully whispering something about how they're not answering the phone because he's going to be in trouble with his wife to a customer he knows. When he realizes I'm looking at them, he explains the whole thing directly to me. "Dude! I spent $100 on slots and $100 on the lottery! When my wife realizes the money's missing, she's gonna flip! I'd better win something! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Guy he was whipsering to: "HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Other Guy Behind Counter: "HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Girl Behind Counter rolls her eyes.

We're having an office potluck today. I swung through the Krispy Kreme drive-thru and got a dozen hot glazed doughnuts and a half dozen of my favorite "Glazed Kreme filled". I ate one of each and my face has been twitching all morning from the sugar rush. Ironically, I'm hoping the Coke will settle my nerves down.

Actually, the best thing I've found to soothe the nerves lately is hot cocoa. So one of the reasons I'm here is to pick up my favorite...Swiss Miss Marshmallow Lovers. I have some big Pfaltzgraff mugs (Mission Flower pattern if you're making wagers) that hold two servings of cocoa, and I make it so hot that the marshamallows melt into a creamy liquid that sits on top of the cocoa. Gives it a very nice flavor, it does. Of course, every variety of Swiss Miss cocoa is on sale...EXCEPT Marshmallow Lovers.

We're heading into my favorite time of the year. Cooler weather, fall colors, football and hockey, and Steak n Shake's Halloween milkshakes. I've already consumed three caramel apple milkshakes this season.

Here's to good cheer and smooth sailing to New Year's.

Sunday, September 10, 2006


Place: On the Border
Lunch: Beef taco, beef enchilada, cheese & onion enchilada, rice, beans, water

The other day, I saw a commercial for a Pizza Hut promotion where they had a lasagna pizza.

What made it lasagna-like was its choice of ingredients. They took their Sicilian crust and topped it with lasanga-like stuff. So I guess it tastes like lasagna.

I got to wondering...If you're hungry for lasagna, why not just eat lasagna? It's not that hard to get pre-made in all sorts of varieties at the local supermarket at far cheaper prices than Pizza Hut's pizza. And it's perfectly good. Try to tell me your mother made better lasagna than Stouffer's. Riiiight.

Then I got to thinking about all the other stuff made to resemble real foods. Pizza companies seem to do this a lot.

Taco Pizza - A very popular option at almost every major pizza chain. A pizza topped usually with a taco sauce, a blend of cheese heavy on cheddar, beef (usually not even seasoned...just hamburger meat), lettuce, and tortilla chips. Happy Joe's probably has the best one.

Cheeseburger Pizza/Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza - The first time I saw this done was twenty years ago at Shakey's. And they went all out. Big mac-like sauce. American cheese. Pickles. Onions. I think the crust even had sesame seeds. It was awesome. But they hardly ever had it because they kept running out of crusts, which I guess were specially made and shipped. Godfather's makes a pretty good one today.

BLT Pizza - This is limited to Happy Joe's, and is one of those pizzas people are most likely to be afraid of, but I actually like it. it uses mayo for the sauce and is topped in bacon bits, lettuce, and tomato.

Of course, the concept isn't limited to pizzas. There's Jelly Belly, who makes jelly beans that taste like all sorts of fruits, snacks, and sodas. I'm still amazed by their Buttered Popcorn. And there's all sorts of candy lines made to taste like Coke, Dr. Pepper, etc. Again, I'd personally just rather have a real Dr. Pepper.

Probably the weirdest thing I've found along this line is Dairy Queen lip balm. Yes, you too can make your lips taste like Dairy Queen soft serve. Trouble is, it doesn't really. I guess I'll just have to keep eating at a real Dairy Queen to solve that craving.

I wonder what Dairy Queen soft serve would taste like if I ate it while wearing the Dairy Queen lip balm...