Place: Slim Chickens
Lunch: Eight Wing Plate (Spicy Korean sauce, ranch), potato salad, cranberry lemonade
Hey, they forgot the toast. Oh well. I don't really care.
It's almost New Year's, so let's do that year in review thing now in case I forget later because after nearly a month of not working, I'm losing concept of time. I should probably get over that because I have a flight to catch later this week. I think. Maybe. *scratches head* I should set an alarm or something. If I can remember how to set an alarm.
Headline of the Year - "Utah bars have started warning each other about rogue male stripper troupes that come through town." What???
Oops of the Year - Ever check in to your hotel, go to your room, unlock the door, and discover somebody else is already staying there? That happened to me this year.
Dream of the Year - Dreamed I was driving somewhere but couldn't get there because some guy had closed the road to expand his yard.
Bad Luck of the Year - Got new tires in April. One replaced under road hazard warranty in June. Second replaced under road hazard warranty in December. If this keeps up, I'm never going to have to buy a new set of tires again.
Dumb McDonald's Move of the Year - Every year for Fast Food Fish Season, McDonald's has a special on Filet-O-Fish. This year, they limited that special to a coupon that required you to use their phone app, effectively shutting out the elderly, the biggest consumers of fast food fish. They later did the same thing with McRib.
Fortune Cookie of the Year - "Attitude is more important than facts." The very definition of politics.
Radio Ad of the Year - "Is your credit so dirty it needs disinfectant and a safe word?"
Album of the Year - Beach House "7". No reason why. Honestly, it was kind of a slow year.
Movie of the Year - "Aquaman". For me, anyway.
Streaming Movie of the Year - "Roma" (Netflix) takes some effort to watch, but the last fourth or so of the movie has three incredibly powerful scenes.
Television of the Year - The CW's "Supernatural" had a crossover episode with...Scooby Doo. It actually exceeded my expectations.
Television Advertising for Dummies of the Year - Silk changed their package design and ran an ad campaign that dumbed down the changes as if their customers would have a hard time understanding what essentially is a bigger logo on the package. It REALLY came off as overkill.
Creepy Commercial of the Year - Am I the only one who found the facial expressions of the girl in the Viasat commercial they ran earlier this year disturbing?
Television Commercial Overkill of the Year - Did Sia give Target a bulk rate on royalties for use of "Round and Round" in their ads or something?
Retail Change of the Year - Best Buy stopped selling CD's. In even more shocking news, Best Buy still exists.
Weird Sports News of the Year - Vince McMahon announced the resurrection of the XFL. I still have an XFL football from the last time it failed.
Fast Food Branding of the Year - Discovered there's a burger chain in Illinois called "Meatheads".
Fast Food LTO of the Year - I really liked Burger King's Cheesy Bacon Crispy Chicken. I guess they had to find something to do with all that cheese sauce they bought for that disaster of a sandwich that wins the...
Fast Food Disappointment of the Year - Burger King's Philly Cheese Cheeseburger. I don't even get the connection.
Fast Food Hack of the Year - You know those Hot Chili Seasoning sauce packets Wendy's gives out with their chili? Turns out that crap makes for a decent taco sauce.
Fast Food Regret of the Year - "OH MY GOD THEY HAVE A TRIPLE DOUBLE CRUNCHWRAP!" - Taco Bell customer full of sorrow and remorse because he already ordered.
Fast Food Fail of the Year - Taco Bell used to have the best app for mobile ordering, but they replaced it with a new app that is absolute garbage that fails you more often than it actually works.
Not Like Fast Food More Like Diner LTO Burger of the Year - Steak
n Shake came out with a White Truffle Prime Steakburger that included
their "nothing like a Steak n Shake" 6oz patty, Tillamook Swiss,
mushrooms, caramelized onions, and truffle aioli sauce. "Is this Heaven?" "Yes. Yes it is."
Trendy New Treat of the Year - Cookie dough scoop shops are now a thing. The "dough" doesn't have egg in it and the flour is cooked, so it's safe to eat. But it's still pretty tasty.
Drive-Thru Mishear of the Year - Me: "2 for $6 Whopper deal..." Burger King Drive-Thru Guy: "26 Whopper Jr's..."
Grocery Development of the Year - Sprout's Farmer's Market, who brought Tillamook Yogurt to the Midwest for the first time ever a few years ago, added Tillamook Ice Cream to their stores too. I may have cried, even though they don't sell my favorite flavors.
M&M's of the Year - M&M's debuted three new Crispy flavors...Crunchy Mint, Crunchy Espresso, and Crunchy Raspberry...and had a contest to decide which would be a permanent addition to the M&M's lineup. Mint was the best, and Mint won, which is shocking because it wasn't the coffee-related flavor.
Ice Cream Flavor of the Year - Braum's came out with a Cookie Monster that was essentially their blue Birthday Cake ice cream, but loaded with chunks of various cookies. I tasted chocolate chip, peanut butter, and snickerdoodle for sure.
Twitter Feed Winner of the Year - The MoonPie and Wendy's Twitter accounts (who I suspect are run by the same person) got into a ridiculous back-and-forth squishy compliment thing on National Compliment Day. At some point the Regal Cinemas account chimed in with "Still a better love story than Twilight" and won.
Vegas Acquisition of the Year - Virgin Hotels bought the off-strip Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and the jokes about the "first Virgin in Vegas" were never-ending.
Grabbing Opportunity of the Year - In the midst of the "idiot teens eating Tide Pods" fad, Hurts Donut started selling a doughnut frosted to look just like a Tide Pod.
Pickup Line of the Year - Boy are you an indie movie because you are projecting a boldly unresolved narrative onto me - @aparnapkin
Retweet of the Year -
Prediction for 2019 of the Year - When the new job hunt starts, I'm pretty sure any relocation will be entirely based on what I'm craving for lunch that day, and what region is a core market for that chain.
Finally, one personal aside...Rest in Peace, Dan "Weird_1" Green. Thanks for all the laughs.