Place: Whataburger
Lunch: Whataburger 5-3-1, fries, Dr. Pepper
The 5-3-1 is called such because it has five pickles, three onion rings, and one pepper sauce. It's a half-pound double-patty with two kinds of cheese (American and Monterey Jack) on Texas toast. It was supposed to end its run in mid-December, but it apparently didn't. Another interesting LTO from Whataburger, who I have grown increasingly fond of over the years.
It took until the end of the year to realize I'm in kind of a funk. The first part of the year was busy with a work project. The second third of the year was extremely busy with said work project. The rest of the year was still busy due to the aftermath of said work project, but I still found time to realize I'm in a funk. So my new year's resolution is going to be to get out of said funk.
(Side note to dance party enthusiasts...This is completely different than 'bringing the funk'.)
This won't stop me from doing what we all do at the end of the year...reflect on it.
Dumb Move of the Year - In January, Qwest added a $1 'convenience fee' to people who had the audacity to pay their bill online without signing up for auto-pay. So I started mailing payments, which costs them WAY more. I guess I wasn't alone...They got rid of said fee within a few months. Idiots.
Dumb Shopping Mall Tricks of the Year - Those kiosks in the middle of mall corridors are getting out of hand. I saw a kiosk HAIR STYLIST. The guy was REALLY pushy to passing women too. Cell phone stores, satellite TV outlets, and skin care con artists are getting to be pushy too, making malls start to feel like sleazy flea markets.
Dumb Restaurant LTO of the Year - Burger King's Ribs. Yeah, that didn't go so well.
Awesome Restaurant LTO of the Year - Whataburger's Bar-B-Que Cheddar Burger. Hands down. No contest. Well, okay...Taco Cabana's Brisket Tacos were amazing too.
Odd Fast Food Promo Combo of the Year - Runza was promoting a combo meal of a cup of chili, cinnamon rolls, and a drink. Chili and cinnamon rolls?
Fast Food in a Timely Fashion of the Year - Hardee's Counter Girl: "How long on the hash rounds?" Girl cooking hash rounds: "59 minutes".
M&M's New Flavor of the Year - There weren't any that I saw except Pretzel, and I hated those. Weird. But I'd sure like to try the orange chocolate ones they're selling in other parts of the world. Couldn't find them at World Market or Jungle Jim's. Somebody also mentioned a 'cherry cordial'? Didn't see them either. I WILL say that the fall color mix for Peanut M&M's was quite lovely, though.
Oops I Hit The Wrong Button of the Year - Don't you hate it when you accidentally hit the "Print" button and print a 200-page document you had no intention of printing in this lifetime?
Television Remembrance of the Year - "Twin Peaks" turned 20. And USA Network's "Psych" did a "Twin Peaks" parody episode that included some Twin Peaks alumni that was pretty funny. Sherilyn Fenn's still got it.
I Drove a Hybrid - and it was pretty cool. They still need to get a little more practical in design and cost for me to consider actually buying one, but...
Hot Dog of the Year - Probably the one I had at the Reds game. Not so much for the hot dog as much as for the experience.
New Soda Discovery of the Year - Cheerwine, a longtime staple of the Carolinas. Available in cane sugar form in glass bottles. Yes.
Ice Cream Flavor of the Year - Tillamook Caramel Butter Pecan. Brilliant.
Weird Flavor Combination of the Year - Del Taco came out with fries topped with taco meat, ranch, barbecue sauce, and bacon. I'm thinking 'gross'. Until I tried them. It surprisingly worked.
Creepy Moment of the Year - Walking through Walmart by a top-to-bottom wall of "Baby Alive" dolls, which are apparently motion sensitive, and they all started bobbing their heads up down and making noises. ALL OF THEM.
New Business of the Year - Trader Joe's came to town (see November archive). Favorite thing there that I didn't find until after I wrote my blog post where I tried a bunch of items: Lasagna Bolognese.
Albums of the Year - "July Flame" by Laura Veirs led my summer driving music. The woman is based in my hometown and has been recording for years and I had never heard of her until one of those Amazon recommendations. Then Kim Taylor, who I've known about for awhile now thanks to her occasional appearances with Over the Rhine, released "Little Miracle". And it is.
Best Album of 2011 that I've Already Heard - If your favorite band is capable of releasing an album in 2011 half as good as Over the Rhine's forthcoming Joe Henry-produced "The Long Surrender" (in stores 2/8/11, pre-order here for instant gratification), it will probably be the second best album of next year.
Best Band Show Promo Ever - "Wow. Outside the "venue" in Modesto. It's an arcade...and with 7 BANDS tonight! I hope you guys are coming to see this...should be hilarious." - (The Birthday Massacre, on Facebook)
Dumb Movie of the Year - Oh, probably "The Losers". That's ironic.
Movie of the Year - I didn't see nearly as many movies this year as I have in the past, but "Kick-Ass" really brought the awesome. I actually gave "Toy Story 3" a higher rating, but Kick-Ass will be the long-run keeper. "Scott Pilgrim vs the World" gets runner-up nods.
Forthcoming Movie Question of the Year - Apparently, the next Batman movie is called "Dark Knight Rises". So does that mean plenty of Viagra product placement?
TV Can't Possibly Get Dumber of the Year - Every year, I wonder if NBC and Toyota's stupid Football Night in American halftime sponsorship gimmick can get any dumber. Every ensuing year, the answer is Yes.
Bad TV Casting Idea of the Year - Elliot Gould was a guest star on an episode of the original CSI this year. This was a bad idea because he made the regular cast look like community theater rejects.
Awesome TV Commercial of the Year - Sprint's 'unlimited' commercial where the girl is breaking up with her boyfriend. Her gleeful facial expressions totally make it.
Cancellation Double-Take of the Year - TV weather cancellation scroll..."Iowa-Iowa State hockey game canceled". Me..."Iowa and Iowa State have hockey teams?"
Retail Double-Take of the Year - Why would you name a swimsuit store "Anything but Water"?
New Product of the Year - If you have one of those homes with a lot of recessed ceiling lighting, you might want to look at Home Depot for EcoSmart LED Downlights. 10.5 watts, last like 30 years, and really awesome light output. Expensive...like $50 each (although supposedly on sale for $19.95 in stores until Jan 1)...but considering the savings and not having to get the ladder out on an annual basis, they just might be worth it to you. Even if you just phase them in as your existing bulbs burn out. I replaced the CFL bulb over my sink with one of these. Completely outperformed the CFL and gave me back the light level of the incandescent the CFL replaced.
Maybe We're Going to Open, Maybe Not of the Year - New Denny's at the Love's truck stop signage Monday: "Open Tuesday". Tuesday PM/Wed AM: "Open Wednesday". Wednesday PM: "Coming Soon".
Ugly Building Conversion of the Year - Our old Saturn dealership was converted into a Mini dealership. They painted the entire building BLACK. It looks horrible.
Tasteless Marketing of the Year - I saw a billboard in Ardmore, Oklahoma that said "YOUR WIFE IS HOT!" in big block letters. It was promoting air conditioning.
Bumper Sticker of the Year - "Punk Rock isn't just for your boyfriend".
Fortune Cookie of the Year - "Borrow money from a pessimist...they don't expect it back".
Reason Not To Lose Weight of the Year - If I were worth my weight in gold, my worth as of October 15 would have been $5,694,624.00.
The Dumbing Down of America of the Year - At hotel, a woman in the room next to mine was trying to teach her two teenage sons how to unlock their door with a key card. They weren't grasping the concept.
Suggested Tax Dollars At Work of the Year - I would support a federal program that bought all the Pontiac Azteks and crushed them in the name of national beautification.
False Alarm of the Year - Heard Chester Cat yelp like he was in pain...and turned to find him beating up my laptop bag.
Cat Barf Casualty of the Year - One of my cats puked on my Harmony universal remote and killed it. Wouldn't have guessed that's all it would take.
IT Quote of the Year - "I'm a tech person, and if it doesn't break, I can't enjoy it." (Company IT guy, explaining why he doesn't like Macs.)
Overheard in a Restaurant of the Year - "The first time he kissed me, I don't think he was impressed. But then we kissed again and he asked me if I'd changed my medicine!"
Overheard in the Break Room of the Year - "He was on a motorcycle. You would think he could see a cow standing in the middle of the street."
Retweet of the Year - "Whenever I hear a strange noise outside my room at night, I worry that it's David Lynch, doing something I wouldn't get." (@Jordan_Morris)
Have a happy 2011.
