Place: Fazoli's
Lunch: Sausage Italia lasagna, side of meatballs, breadstick, Pibb XTRA
Smiling Counter Girl gave me the wrong 'your food is ready' pager. Frowning Counter Guy was apologetic and brought me my food personally when it was actually ready. Confused Old Ladies who should've gotten the pager I got wondered aloud why their pager never went off, even when both counter people had explained it to them.
Hmmm. Didn't expect the red and green peppers in the lasagna. It's a winner anyway.
Trader Joe's made their metro debut last week. Everybody had a cow about it and have packed the place since.
Trader Joe's is the Aldi of gourmet grocery stores...literally. Founded in 1967 by Joe Coulombe, he sold the California-based chain to Theo Albrecht's Aldi Nord (North) in 1979. But they're not under the same ownership as the US Aldi stores, which are owned by Karl Albrecht's Aldi Süd (South). (Long story about brothers operating separately but friendly in defined territories.) Anyway, all the money is going to the Germans.
Trader Joe's and Aldi do business pretty much the same way aside from Trader Joe's product being premium or organic or gourmet or some such nonsense. Most of the store inventory is products under Trader Joe's house brands and is cheaper than similar stuff found at, say, Whole Foods. The stores cover a smaller footprint than your typical supermarket...about the same or a little bigger than an Aldi. Trader Joe's stocks around 4,000 items vs large supermarkets who can carry as many as 50,000 different items.
One of the key reasons people seem to love Trader Joe's is their selection of cheap wines. Supposedly good wines, but I don't drink so what do I know. The store has a limited selection of everything, including canned goods, fruit juices, some produce, and a limited selection of meats, but most of this stuff seems to be targeted at single women living off a steady diet of wine, wine-related snacks, appetizers, and microwaveable entrees. (Guess who the largest wine retailer in Germany is? Yep...Aldi.) Oh, and they have what appears to be an extensive selection of coffees and teas as well. I don't drink them either.
In the interest of science, I decided to try some Trader Joe's branded stuff and see if it's any good. The first trick, however, was getting into the store. I stopped by on opening day and immediately gave up. The Trader Joe's faithful were there en masse. It was insane.
So I checked the store hours and decided to drop by Sunday morning at 8. NOBODY'S going to be there at 8 on a Sunday morning, right?
Well...it was shoppable. Still more people there than any other time I've been in one out west. Based on overheard customer conversation, several of the patrons had traveled from the eastern end of the state just to shop here. The Trader Joe's faithful are indeed...faithful.
Smiling Cashier Savannah rang up my order. "Is this your first time to Trader Joe's?" she asked.
"No," I repled.
"Have you been to another store out of state?"
"Yeah, Oregon and Las Vegas."
She smiled. "Yeah."
She made lots of conversation with me about what I've bought before and what I'm trying for the first time as she rang up my total ($65? Yikes!) and filled four paper bags. She talked about the amount of wine they've been selling...they've run out of some varieties. Given the traffic I've seen here, I'm surprised ANYTHING is left to sell.
I kind of surprised myself with just how much stuff I bought. I picked up a few things I was already familiar with, and lots of frozen stuff. Chester Cat, who is all about paper grocery bags, acted as if I'd built him his own personal amusement park when I unpacked the groceries and stood the bags up on the floor for him. Then I spent the week trying things out.
Will I join the Trader Joe's faithful? Let's see.
Trader Joe's Scallops Wrapped in Uncured Bacon with Brown Sugar Glaze - Target sells a version of these under their Archer Farms label, and of course they're a part of Red Lobster's awesome New England Sampler appetizer. The Trader Joe's ones apparently use less heat resistant toothpicks as I learned when the Townhouse of Solitude filled with smoke. I managed to open the windows and turned on the stove exhaust before the smoke alarms went off. Problem solved. The scallops were WAY better than Target's, thanks to the sweet bacon. Maggie Cat agreed as she demanded I share the bacon.
Trader Joe's New York Deli-Style Baked Cheesecake - About as good as any store-bought cheesecake I've ever tried. Very nice. I need some strawberries in syrup to drizzle on this.
Trader Joe's Certified Organic Pasturized Strawberry Lemonade - It's lacking in flavor to the point where if I gave you some and asked you to guess what it was, you probably couldn't. Yet I have a suspicion I'll be buying more.
Trader Giotto's Pepperoni Pizza (with uncured pepperoni, and mozzarella and asiago cheeses) - One of those pre-made in the refrigerator case...not frozen...pizzas. The cheese was the strongest taste. The pepperoni almost may as well have not been there. The sauce was kind of flavorless too.
Trader Joe's Sharp Cheddar Cheese Cracker Cuts - This is genius. A resealable container of sharp cheddar sized and pre-sliced perfectly for sticking on a Ritz cracker. The very definition of a wine-related snack, ladies.
Trader Joe's 'Just Cherry' Cherry Juice (from concentrate) - It's not sweet, but it's strong. Hard to explain, but it's definitely like real cherries and I definitely like it. It isn't exactly cheap, but neither are cherries.
Trader Joe's All Natural Pasteurized Unfiltered Concord Grape Juice - Ingredients: "100 percent Concord grapes grown in Yakima, Washington". In a juice form. Of course. It tastes like grape juice. Who knew.
Trader Joe's Mushroom Rice Noodle Soup Bowl - It's like one of those plastic Ramen bowl kits, except with pad Thai rice noodles. There's a plastic bowl with noodles and a plastic packet inside. Inside the plastic packet are three other packets...one with mushroom bits, one with seasoning, and one with oil. Adding the oil is optional. Fill to the lower rim with water and microwave, or do it the Cup-o-Noodles way and add boiling water, cover, and let sit for 3 minutes. The result is a perfectly decent soup, not too sodium heavy (like Ramen tends to be) but still flavorful. Too heavy on the noodles if you ask me. It's also apparently vegan friendly, according to the packaging. HA HA HA HA! Vegans.
Trader Joe's Vintage Root Beer - Made with cane sugar and packaged in glass bottles. I have some real sugar A&W in my fridge. This compares favorably. But it comes in a clear bottle, unlike my dark brown A&W bottles, so the A&W has a higher cool factor. Still, it's a perfectly good mellow root beer. Nothing fancy like some of those horrible gourmet root beers (I'm looking at YOU, Thomas Kemper).
Trader Joe's Taco Seasoning Mix - Most taco seasoning packets have you brown the meat, drain the grease, add water and seasoning and simmer. Trader Joe's wants you to heat a tablespoon of canola oil, sautee a medium chopped onion in it, add the beef and seasoning, then a can of tomato sauce. Since I didn't actually read the instructions when I bought it, I didn't know to pick up an onion or tomato sauce. So I made it the same way I always make my taco meat...Crumble meat in pan, sprinkle seasoning on top, simmer to brown and congealed. I also added a quarter cup of water here because there's far more seasoning than in the Ortega packets. I'll note that the ground beef (85 percent lean), shells (Ortega yellow), and taco fixings did NOT come from Trader Joe's. In spite of this, the result was pretty decent, if not overly spicy for my taste. I may try this again down the road using the correct Trader Joe's recipe.
Trader Joe's Mini Eclairs - Well, they're yummy...not really any more yummy than elsewhere, but yummy. The negative is that the wonderful drizzly chocolate tends to stick to the plastic wrap, so unwrap them frozen...not after thawing.
Trader Joe's Parmesan Pastry Pups - Slightly fancy mini wiener wraps garnished in parmesan. You get about 14 per box. Bake and serve. They come out of the oven a beautiful golden brown. They dip well in mustard, or taste just fine with nothing. I don't think most will eat more than 3 or 4 before tiring of them.
Trader Joe's Hand Crafted Cheese Enchiladas - They come in a plastic package in a shape that sort of makes you think of frozen burritos. But what's inside is a microwavable tray with two enchiladas in sauce, kind of like Amy's cheese enchiladas, but a slightly larger portion. They're okay, but they aren't as good as Amy's. Or mine. Mine are awesome.
Pilgrim Joe's Clam Chowder - It's a condensed soup in a can that you reconstitute with a can of milk. It's "Made with Fresh Clams". It has no preservatives or artificial colors or flavors. And it's in a can. Who knew. It was initially kind of flavorless, so I added some sea salt. Then I added some more. The end result was what looked like a bowl of hot milk with the texture of tomato soup. Not much flavor. The instructions advise you to use less milk for a thicker chowder. If I try this again, I'm using HALF a can.
Trader Joe's 100% Pure Florida Orange Juice (NOT from concentrate) with Calcium and Vitamin D, Pasteurized - It tastes like the equivalent at Aldi. I think it's also the same price as Aldi. Which would explain a great deal.
Trader Joe's Smoke House Pulled Pork In Smoky BBQ Sauce - A pound of pulled pork. "Serves 3" according to the box. "It's made just for us in Texas, with a sweet & smoky sauce that screams Kansas City", says the box. Microwaves in 2.5 minutes. Kind of plain for my taste. Not smoky at all.
Cannelloni Tre Formaggio alla Trader Giotto (Cannelloni with Three Cheeses) - Frozen in a microwave tray. Wrapped in plastic. Like Laura Palmer. HA HA HA HA HA HA! I ignorantly followed the cooking instructions exactly, which is stupid because I have the most powerful microwave on Earth. It looked great after eight minutes of cooking on defrost mode. Then you're supposed to cook it for three minutes on high. After that, it looked like bacon. It was still pretty good. I bet it's awesome when cooked properly.
Trader Giotto's Spizzico Pizza - Little bite size mini cheese pizzas. A dozen in a (frozen) box, divided by two plastic packages, which seems about right...I could eat six at a time. The instructions included both conventional oven and microwave, so I nuked three and baked three. The nuked ones were soft and delicious. The baked ones came out with a very impressive pizza crust-like texture. (I personally preferred them microwaved.) Either way, these now top my quick-fix pizza craving appetizer list. If you're still eating pizza rolls or bagel bites, these would be a lovely upgrade.
So...Am I a new Trader Joe's regular? Are you KIDDING me? They had me at the bacon-wrapped scallops. Those pizza bites and some of their juice will be on my perpetual shopping list.
Oh...if you haven't done your Thanksgiving shopping yet, Trader Joe's apparently does turkeys for the season as well as the usual accompaniments. All free of antibiotics and whatever other buzz words people think means 'healthy' these days.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm out of scallops.
