You Wanted the Best...You Got...Something Else

Place: smashburger
Lunch: 1/3 lb All-American with egg (no cheese), haystack onions, Dr Pepper

Skinny blonde girl in front of me orders her burger. Counter girl asks "1/3 pound or 1/2 pound?"

"Whichever's smaller," she says.

Boss #25 and I were in here last week. One of the managers walked by and said "Hey! Our regulars!" I guess she was surprised to see her 'regulars' knew each other.

JEEPERS it's windy today.

Kiss released a new album today, which I snagged on the way to work because I've been a Kiss fan since the 6th grade and it's just one of those things one has to do. Kiss is only one of two bands from my teen years I still keep up with, Rush being the other.

Circumstances beyond my control kept me from seeing Kiss live until the Hot in the Shade tour, even though I'd been a fan since Love Gun came out. But I've seen them live twelve times since, so I guess I've caught up.

Kiss's last effort was an album they pretended was made by the original lineup and was largely forgettable. The hype on Kiss's website for the new album ("Sonic Boom", if you were wondering...yes, I also think it's a dumb title) includes reviews from around the industry that have gone as far as to claim this is their best effort since "Rock and Roll Over", a ridiculous statement considering "Rock and Roll Over" isn't exactly one of their best efforts. They've put out several albums better than "Rock and Roll Over" since it came out. I'm assuming the "Rock and Roll Over" comparison keeps happening because the same guy who did the cover art for that album did the cover art for this album.

I'd peg this one as their best album since "Revenge", but keep in mind they've only released two studio albums in between, and one of those was a throwaway project aborted when the original band reunion came together. And just because I say it's their best since "Revenge" doesn't mean it even remotely compares to "Revenge", which was their best album since "Love Gun".

One reviewer said the new album had a "70's feel with 80's sensibility". Pretty accurate statement. Basically, it feels like "Crazy Nights" but with heavier guitars and a more raw feel. And no synthesizers. And no ballads. I suspect they were trying to capture their 'live' feel.

There are riffs that sound strangely familiar (bringing to mind Phil Collins, Head East, even the Rock n Roll Over album, among others). As for the songs...Compare "Never Enough" to Patty Smyth's. She may have a lawsuit here. (Smyth's, for the record, is better.) There are three solid tracks ("Modern Day Delilah", "Danger Us", and "Say Yeah") and one decent effort that Tommy Thayer sings, but that one doesn't actually sound like a Kiss song. The rest is the filler some claim doesn't exist.

The CD is being sold exclusively at Walmart for $12 in a package that includes a bonus "greatest hits" CD of several classics re-recorded by the current band (why do bands re-record their classics? That drives me nuts), and a concert DVD from their South American tour. This has become a popular way for old bands to release new material. Journey recently did exactly such a package at Walmart. I would say the overall package as $12 is a good value. Not so much for the M&M's, though.

"M&M's?" you ask...

Walmart is devoting their entire "Music Spotlight" section to band merchandise, including Halloween masks, catalog DVD's, and Kiss M&M's...Collector packages of plain M&M's in Kiss colors with Kiss faces stamped on them. A 7oz package will set you back $6.00. SIX BUCKS for less than half a pound of M&M's.

Anyway, this should tide me over until the latest Tragically Hip CD shows up in the mail, which some are calling "their best since Trouble at the Henhouse", and others...mostly Hip fans who hated Henhouse...are calling "horrible".

I loved Henhouse and don't like their other stuff. So this should be awesome.

I should be dead tired right now. I was wide awake for no reason until at least 2am.

But I'm not.

Sportingly!

Place: Chick Fil-A
Lunch: Chicken sandwich, chicken noodle soup, lemonade

So the Iowa Hawkeyes, who defeated number 5 Penn State last week in a stunning example of watching a team collapse, are looking to continue their perfect season at home against the impassable football titans known as the 1 and 2 Arkansas State of the Sun Belt league.

The game starts well for Iowa, with two touchdowns on their first two drives. Then they start thinking about caramel apple milkshakes and give up. Not enough to get behind, but it was a three-point final. Enough to shut up the fan base I'm sure, who are dreaming of a Rose Bowl bid. HA HA HA HA HA HA! Right. See you at the Outback Bowl. Again.

The play that will probably get the most press came in the fourth quarter. Iowa quarterback Ricky Stanzi threw a picture-perfect pass to Demario Davis, who ran 75 yards for the touchdown. Trouble is...Davis plays for Arkansas State. Oops.

As Davis enters the end zone, this poor kid who will probably never be on this big a stage again does a mid-air somersault for the score in celebration. Flags fly everywhere. "UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT! EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION! EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!"

He goes back to the bench. His coach is SCREAMING at him. The announcers are basically calling him an idiot. A group of Wiccans surround him and chant out a myriad of curses while pelting him with burning insence. His mother grounds him for the rest of the weekend.

How DARE he be excited!

Doesn't he realize football isn't something to be celebrated? That fun is simply not allowed? This is a for-profit business for crying out loud! How DARE he have fun! How dare ANYBODY have fun!

The whole 'excessive celebration' thing just drives me nuts. I'm waiting for the day they no longer allow fans to cheer or boo.

I'm just waiting for the day some college or professional athelete shows up at the press conference after the game and explains what the team has to do to be successful by saying something like "We need to continue to improve and win games so that our fan base will have incentive to spend ridiculous amounts of money on our tickets, re-mortage their homes to pay for a parking space, buy our $10 corn dogs, $50 T-shirts, $100 jerseys, and support our television sponsors. We must maximize our profit potential and overall return to our investors."

Said athelete would probably then be fined for saying that.